#this is as close as I could get from memory it’s still hot imo

[seasonalberries]

@dailydoseofshoko gave me some grand ideas for cowboy AU Shoko

[cdroloisms]

hot take: las nevadas four does not queue up a c!q redemption arc. las nevadas five makes some interesting forays in the direction of comeuppance but fails to make the narrative link between that comeuppance and, ultimately, any change. the reason for this is because the prison arc is inadequately integrated into ln4 and ln5. (i'm writing an ln5 essay rn and this is my prompt for you to join me in hell)

i think people who think LN was heading towards a c!quackity redemption arc were tripping fr 😭 like it's not that i would oppose the idea of c!quackity like, even heading in a different direction. but he didn't? he literally didn't. his interactions with c!slime were never examples of c!quackity realizing the dark course he was taking and changing his ways--if anything, they were a reason to double down? he makes a literal slime army in LN5 like. a literal slime army.

i feel like it comes from this misconception that c!Quackity's whole deal revolves around how he ~cares~ for people, and when he felt betrayed and whatever by the fiances and such then his heart froze over and he went for ambition instead. and therefore learning to care for something can unfreeze his heart and make him good again, or something (<- oversimplified). but c!quackity's deal isn't that he closed his heart off to love? like c!quackity's issue is that he's terminally insecure and therefore kinda terminally self-centered--even in c!karlnapity, he was frequently portrayed as being insecure as hell about c!karlnap and preferred when the attention was on him. when c!karl was freaking the fuck out at him in LN4, his immediate reaction to c!karl like having literal memory loss was to scream at him.

all of this is way oversimplified for the record but it's like.

like, c!quackity and c!slime isn't about redemption as much as it is giving c!quackity an opportunity. and what we largely see, honestly, is c!quackity caring about c!slime...and also grooming him to be like, the successor of his country, seeing him as something malleable that he could use to create another version of himself. it's not that c!quackity was necessarily seeking to harm c!slime, but was he being manipulative? i mean, yeah???

and yeah, for sure, LN4 and especially LN5 heavily suffer from a lack of the prison being properly addressed. the prison and c!dream in specifics haunts c!quackity throughout the entirety of LN--any conclusion to this arc no matter what direction c!Quackity took needed a proper resolution to the prison imo ???

like i don't hate purpled's revenge quest, but bringing it back to purpled-quackity-slime Again in LN5 after the conclusion of LN4 made that all hit a lot less hard. i liked the c!punz scene tbh and i also liked c!dream's ditching las nevadas, but that also feels a lot less impactful when he had like, five lines and barely a confrontation (fuck the internet connection there FR). like, c!Quackity rejecting change isn't bad in itself, but it feels like later parts of las nevadas emphasize his decisions less in favor of what's done to him, and what's done to him doesn't feel enough like a consequence of his own actions. furthermore, so much about Las Nevadas and the Prison (the revive book in specifics) has everything to do with self-centered ambition moreso than revenge, and it feels like that in particular gets kinda poorly addressed? like, the deal with c!Purpled doesn't have to do with revenge, he's not really taking revenge on Purpled--he is, however, ambitious and doing everything that he thinks will make Las Nevadas Great, and the whole thing with him still continuing doggedly on LAS NEVADAS!! even after alluvthat is much more of a commentary on his relationship with power and ambition than on revenge.

this is kinda scattered (like the LN finale LMAO!) but yeah. las nevadas is literally created as a response to imprisoning c!dream, the beginning of this arc happens in parallel to the beginning of his visiting the prison, so having c!dream play as small as a role as he did in the latter two streams really ends up hurting the arc as a whole when so much emphasis had been on c!quackity and ... violence? both outside of the prison and inside it. having c!quackity come to terms with the fact that he does in fact suck fell kinda flat without properly addressing the ways that he actually does suck...? anyway yeah not the best essay kat dorry

[silviakundera]

alright my dudes & dudettes, it's Spirealm time!!

(jazz hands ensue)

fair warning: in these episode reactions I'm not gonna pretend I haven't read the novel. in fact, I purposely finished the novel before viewing, to get The Full Experience. thus novel spoilers, including twist end, included.

I'm spacing out posting these, so you aren't flooded.

The Spirealm Ep 1

* ngl I was legit hyped to see the hallway of doors! I am one of Those People who does not visually imagine stories in their mind, so I don't have much of a preconceived idea of what people or places in a book look like. So adaptions are a special delight for me

* ok, so he's playing a "VR game" and logs off.... OR DOES HE????? In the book, the whole narrative we think he's experiencing for the first time all happens within the 12th door - he has his memory suppressed and only thinks he just entered his first door. I am intrigued at the idea that the drama could be playing a lil bit of a slight of hand here... in which he has been a regular player of 'the official version' already and is already under the thrall. Apparently symptoms include hallucinations and death! Good times. No wonder he wants a black market copy for his very own.

* idk it's just a thought

* Mostly what I found suspicious is that he's already showing super hearing ability and he's having to shake off a mental disturbance

* Chestnut!!! Ok in the 12th door in the novel, at first Chestnut wasn't uber lovey dovey with him anymore. 1st indication of weirdness. In the drama... maybe? we see the cat backing away a bit and resisting, and he has to pull Chestnut over... LQ makes a comment, "I'll give you food, don't move" 🤔🤔🤔🤔

* Suddenly the game shows up in his mail? from Unknown Address... on... isn't it the same day? so that makes no logical sense. (intentional subtext or just cdrama time lol? ) and then for a moment it melds into the game world when he's walking outside... this is all supporting my theories!

* k it's BOYFRIEND TIME. Let's find yo man.

* He either now logs onto the official game (or THINKS that he is logging onto the official version for the 1st time, but he's been inside this whole episode)

* He walks through the door, thinks there's a glitch, and now he believes he's logged off. This time he definitely didn't. DEFINITELY.

* This door looks fantastic.

* He's hit by a car while marveling at the door. Except I don't think so, either time A or B he never logged off. Bro is SEEING FANTASTICAL DOORS IN THE STREET. That's not occurring in our reality.

* I'm really appreciating how disorientating the first episode is, by the way. When does reality end? There are like 7 options to start from.

* FINALLY BOYFRIEND \o/

* "I'm saving you and you still scold me." We may have lost Ruan Baijie 😭😭😭 but this is a nice meet-cute.

* The explanation from Mysterious Future Boyfriend: To put it simply, you're in the game. Here, if you don't finish the game, you can't leave. If you end the game here, you leave... then it really is the end." [universal sliced neck gesture]

(and ok, still banging on that drum, but this vibes with my pet theory - that he never left in the first place...)

* LQ crossed into the game -- and what that means is said to be complicated.

When LQ says as a programmer he can follow an explanation, Ruan Nanzhu just mocks that he hears but doesn't understand.

* Already we are getting a certain vibe, with LQ being backed up into a tree by looming hot stranger. Bro visibly looks down twice (at hottie's lips? at how close their bodies are becoming? the looming increases intensity)

Very strong 20 minute opener imo.

((Post-script: if we want to consider an alternative to the alternate theory of WTF is Reality in this Drama? What if is there a normal game he test plays in the first 12 minutes & separately also The Doors actually exist the same as they do in novel, and he enters on the verge of death and the drama is never actually about a game at all, & he never leaves the 12th door. He just never escapes, baby. 💥😵💥))

(that one is pretty out there tbh. just added for spice. and that very pretty door looking out of place & wholly different than the game decor.)

Next Episode

[profanetools]

Tagged by the wonderful @nuwanders and @wispstalk (thank you Frances and Ray) in this tag game. Most writers I know have been tagged, but I'm tagging @ervona @jiubilant @zurin regardless. Enjoy <3

A line from your fic that makes you laugh

She lurched forward, which made the bird – who she discovered was a crow named Gnorgi, could not eat carrots, and had since decided the piping of her external combustion engine was a very comfortable perch – very upset with her.

-- from my Free Day piece for TES summer fest this year. I think there's a few funny lines but I enjoyed balancing out the first section, where Bthemetz receives the most devestating letter of her life, with touches of humour.

A line from your fic that makes you sad

Clinging to that smock... and I think about how it smelled of her, her and fresh soap my omas made, and sometimes soot and hot metal and sometimes a little of the sea, because the soap couldn't always get rid of that smell. I didn't really give a damn. It was my uma. My uma. I'd just hold on to her, my uma, and try to bury myself in her clothes and cling on for dear life.

-- from Vyra: What's your fondest memory?

Think this one is self-explanatory.

A line from your fic you're proud of

The wind begins to roar. The seas surge inwards. The cold is sharp in the air. Kagrenac realises, despite themselves, that they would move the mountains to the stars to close the distance between them at that moment. That they would remake time and the world itself to lessen her pain, if they had such a power. The unspeakable things they would do, yet again, for Bthemetz! Those very same things that had torn them and the world apart. And where does that leave them, now? Here at the end of the world, apart and away from their people? They are only mortal. They cannot do anything. It is bitter, it is such a bitter thing, to reckon with. “I am sorry,” they say softly.

-- also from my Free Day piece for TES summer fest this year.

I edited this last paragraph a bunch as some adjustments got deleted by poor 4G connection on a train ride (fool me for trying to write on British Rail). Still, despite difficulties getting it back into shape, I love the core central irony of this. And it touches at the core of Kagrenac's character -- this is someone who has looked at the limits placed on them by mortality, by that injustice, and said 'no, I refuse that'. This is someone who moves mountains if those mountains inconvenience them.

IMO, there's power in that. TES is a world of petty gods and the dwemer, as I write them, refuse that logic and seek to write their own world, and I very much want to write that as something admirable rather than simply 'hubris'.

For Kagrenac, Chief Tonal Architect of the Dwemer, to say 'They are only mortal', that is such a concession, an admission of defeat. And yet, Kagrenac is so used to dealing with problems in this way that they don't seem to realise apologising is perhaps the most powerful thing they could do in this moment.

A line for your fic you think could have been better

”[...] Don’t you dare push me away because you believe you can think for me.” “I’m not trying to think for you, Bthem – I’m trying to warn you–” “And that’s fine, you can have your opinion – but you don’t get to tell me what is worth my time. That’s not for you to decide. If I end up dead or worse, that was my decision, that was on me. Don’t baby me–” “I’m not babying you.” “Then respect my opinion. [...]”

There's not a specific line but I do think It's the Opposite of A Problem has issues that really frustrate me in retrospect.

I don't think Bthemetz would have dealt with Kasmei self-sabotaging like a teenager (not entirely OOC imo, Kasmei has some immaturity) as gracefully or as leniently as she does here. I think it ought to have blown up into a big fight without a positive resolution. I also think the characters don't communicate in dialogue as much as talk at each other. I'm loathe to delete anything on my blog but I'd be tempted to delete this piece.

A line from your fic that makes you want to punch a character

“Have you lapsed back into an infantile theism, playing the dissident priest in a moment of senility in your old age, or do you simply wish to insult me, Bthemetz?”

-- From A Thesis On Twelve Tones: Chapter 7.

One of the most punchable Kagrenac lines.

A line from your fic that makes you go 'aww'

I love you, you’ll tell her later, after you’ve brewed a pot of her favourite tea. you’ll nip out, when the sun’s still orange and she’s still trying to catch some not-actually-necessary sleep, and pick the dark stemmed leaves you know she likes, from the highest point of the mountain where the air thins, gets herself giddy over. it takes a lot out of you to visit her in person these days - you feel layers of you shedding every time you have to phase somewhere, like the world wants to yoink you back to the void like a naughty child. stay here says the universe. no, you shout back. you suspect there might come a day where you can’t do this, anymore. where you’ll actually be dead. wouldn’t that be funny, you’ve told Bthem, and she always tells you to shut your trap, because it’s better that you’re here. it’s better, so you’ll keep on struggling. you’ll keep on swimming, until they tear you down. “Good,” you say to her. “It’s a good thing, you’re still here. A really good thing.”

-- From The Sky is Full of Smoke.

I need to write a proper Kasmei/Bthem fic at one point because their soft moments are really good, IMO.

A line from your fic that's full of symbolism

When you raise a knife to your scalp, you think better of it. You finish your tea. It's the fourth era of some empire you've never heard of. Dynasties, what are they good for? You sign the guestlist with VYRA. You give no family name.

-- from VYRA.

It's on the nose, but I love the certainty of this. It's characteristic of and yet represents a peaceful coming to terms with herself - she does not need to be either precisely 'dwemer' or 'chimer' by the norms either group demand, nor does she need to hold family ties that hurt her. the shaving metaphor is less subtext and more text: she is no longer almost violently trying to cut off the deeply dwemeri cultural background she has. but she also does not necessarily align herself with 'Kemel-Ze' or 'Demnevanni' or any other clan or house. Despite her abrasiveness, Vyra has actually conformed strictly to dwemeri or chimeri cultural expectations much of the time (with mixed success, she's v autistic-coded), and has found navigating her dual heritage really hard, and I think there's a lot of power in her accepting that as soon as she accepts herself.

I think the next step after this fic would be about her trying to reconnect with other lost Dwemer and trying to build some semblance of community, in ways that don't trap her back in academia.

A line from your fic that contains an Easter egg

They are the stranger of the two: both unfamiliar and bizarre. They are cloaked in a thick mantle, the colour long faded, that trails to the top of their boots, but between the edges of heavy fabric one can glimpse an odd angle, a strange glint, of what looks like a suit of mismatched metal armour, wrong times, wrong periods, wrong histories soldered together, a patchwork of replacements and remnants, walking. The guide had wondered if there was anything but a shadow underneath it. (A shadow, a spectre, a haunting thing that wears a crossbow large enough to spear through a dragon’s heart, steady on their back.)

-- from Where is Shor?

This is actually Bthemetz, but funnily enough I think a lot of people actually missed that because of the deliberate use of they/them pronouns here.

A line from your fic that's shocking

“You would be cut down in less than year,” he says, simply. “You have no credentials, no family, and most Vvardenfell Clans have no great love for anyone in the Western Mountains. What little you would gather would be destroyed in a matter of minutes.” “It would be better,” they snap, “than another year sitting and doing nothing.”

-- Bauble

Not that shocking on the surface, but there's definitely something self-destructive about 19 year old Kagrenac, refugee of Nordic Occupation and Bitter about it, here arguing with 24 year old Dumac, lawyer-in-training and layabout (until they came along), about whether raising an army would be a sensible thing to do.

A line from your fic you want to talk about more

Bthemetz stops. She flings her arms outwards. “You tried to kill me!” “I know.”

-- also from my Free Day piece for TES summer fest this year.

Cheating here because I actually have a half-written fic all about this, actually. Hoping I will finish it before the end of the month.

[sinfulpetgirlrd]

SFM to Daz3d

I’m a very happy cat I’ve figured out how to get SFM models into daz. It’s a bit of a process but of all 3d programs I prefer daz3d. IMO it’s streamlined posing and iray render ability trumps all Since I spent DAYS on this, I’ma share how to do it cause my memory I’ll forget(also others could probably use it. also gunna be long)

You need(not up for debate lol)

~  A SFM Model ~  Blender ~  Daz3d & Genesis 8( male or female which ever your SFM model is ~  This Blender plug in: (clicky me)  for those who don’t know how to dl from github. Download the top one, the SourceIO.zip its 10.1MB

~ art program to make the cut out textures(like hair, clothing hems etc) ~  Time, cause this takes a hot minuet.  **Set up** 1) In Daz open a new file, load a gen 8 figure(this works for all figures). Do not pose, do not change it’s shape nor add anything to it. Go to Parameters - General - Mesh Resolution. Change resolution lv to base, and shange subdivision vl and render subd level to 0 2) make sure whole figure is selected. Go file - export. Use the drop down; choose blender, change scale to 1%. Make sure your xyz is xyz, daz usualy has it xzy. If they are not checked, check “Ignore invisiable nodes” , “ Write UV ccordinates”, “ Write Normals/ faces/ polylines/ seperateobjects” , “ Write Groups” ,  and “write surfaces”.  3) DL the blender plug in(should have your SFM model as well) 4) In blender (i’m using the most recent version 3.5.0) Go edit - preferences - add ons. Install your add on. When it’s installed hit the check box to enable it.  **Getting the model ready** 1) Clear your blender scene. Import your exported Daz model. (make sure scale is 1, clamp bound is 0, forward axis is -z and up axis is y.) 

2) Import your SFM Model( thanks to the plug in there will be a new import option called Source Engine Assets. From there you want the very top option “Source Model(.mdl) 3) Pose/ rotate the SFM model to match the stance of the Gen 8 model. Get as close as you can. The most important things you need to line up are the feet/ the top lip/ the fingers.  4) apply the skeleton to the model. Select the model, go to Modifier properties - the skeleton and apply. (this applies the pose to the base mesh so you can edit the mesh)

5) hopefully your model has body gruops where nothing is really connected or this part will suck. In edit, you want to seperate by selection: the top teeth, the bottom teeth, the eyes( seperate a left and right. not together), the tongue, any dangaly bits like belt straps, eyelashes(trust me).  5) still in edit take the lips and manually seperate them a bit. If you don’t you wont be able to open the mouth in Daz. 

6) go back to object, select all(minus what you just seperated and the hair) and join it. Go back to edit. Select all, go to mesh - clean up - merge by distance. Now fine tune your mesh in edit and sculpt. Don’t be afrade to subadize, once or twice to get better fits. daz can handel it. You want to make sure the the SFM models top lip and eyes perfectly( or damn near close) match the height of the daz model. 

**Import into Daz**

1) make sure to save all textures as pngs(everything even the normals). 

2) export the model n bits as objs. Select a part to export, make sure “limited to selected only” is checked, scale is 1, forward axis is -z and up axis y. Also check “UV coordinates”, “Normals”, and Materials export.

3) go to Daz, load a gen 8 figure(same gender as what you exported). 

4) Import one of the body parts of your new obj(just do the main body for now). Settings you want are: scale 10,000/ x,y,z/ read uv/faces/polylines/groups/surafces and material libary.  5) in the viewport/scene tab, which ever. select the obj, go to edit - object - fransfer utality. Your source is Gen 8, the target is the obj. No templates or item shapes needed. 

**weight/mesh fixing**

1) hide the gen 8 figure. In the scene tab(has to be here as selecting the obj in the viewport will only select gen 8 not the obj, unless you want to go through the truble of making all parts of gen unslectable) start with the hands as figures with longer than avearge nails can pose issues. Lets do the left hand pinky 3(the tip of the finger). 

2) go to gemoetry editor(tool settins, might have to add the tab from window - panes). Left mb to select mesh, hold control to add, and alt to deslect. if any part of the objs left pinkey tip is connected to any other finger, select it. Set targt group to face: choose group “Lpinkey 3″ and hit assign to target group. Contraz you just changed which group that part of the mesh is grouped under. Do the rest of the model fixing what needs to be fixed. (a good way to see is to just hover over different parts in the viewport) 

3) now go to Node weight map brush. with that pinky tip still select, click general weights. Go over the pinky with the brush your mouse has turned into. Red means full follow, blue/purple/yellow means different degrees. since this is the pinky you want the tip to be fully red. Repeat for the rest of the hands/feet/face. Face will be a bitch. Best way to do this over all is to SLIGHTLY change the gen 8 pose so you can see if anything weirdly distors. face takes a lot of time espically the eyes and mouth corners. have fun lol.  4) import your other attachements(same import settings as the body part we just did). The eyes, the top/bottom teeth, hair/ one obj for each dangly bit. Parent them to the parts they go. (obj top teeth gets parented to gen 8 top teeth, and so on and so on. Also might need to move around a bit/scale up or down).       *Dangely bits, select each one, go to simuation settings - add dforce dyanic setting. With bit still select go to create and make a new dforce modifier weight node. Select the node, go back to node weight map brush. Add map “dforce simultation: influence weights. Use control to remove the weight paint from the portion of the bit that is touching the main obj model. This way you can use simulation to move the bits around after posing.  **Textures**

1) lets start with the main obj we imported. select it and go to surfaces(little drop down to see all the materials).  apply the corrosponding material and normal to the model, do turn off glossy layered weight, unless the piece is supposed to be metal/glass. 

2) cut. Any base materal with empty white space needs to have a cut out created. open the base materal in your art program of choice. (I’m using clip stuido but this can be done much easier in photoshop. Simply turn the white background black and the colored bits of the texture black. Save, and apply to the corrosponding cut out.  Your finally done. It’s a process, like I said but I do not have SFM or poser and I prefer Daz for all things rendering/posing. (don’t think i need to say it but do save as a scene because otherwise you’ll have to do all that work again) 

[lastoneout]

See I kinda get where this is coming from in some regards, but the inclusion of ADHD amongst the ways people are apparently "self-infantilizing" with the use of "therapy/social justice language" makes me hesitant to take anything else it's saying seriously.

It's kinda funny to see this author, at the end of the article, claim to care about disabled rights while repeating some absurdly ableist stereotypes and talking points? There is a long history of able-bodied neurotypical society infantilizing people with disabilities, and this article points that out, but STILL not only repeats that by implying that people with ADHD are idk, what? Lying? Making excuses for ourselves? Because babies have object permanence so surely we couldn't possibly actually struggle with something like that, but goes so far as to insinuate that said societal infantilization is OUR OWN FAULT somehow and/or we're weak for complaining about our symptoms.

ADHD is a disability. Literally, it is a medical condition that severely impairs one's ability to function from day to day up to the point of literally ruining lives. And one of the most common ADHD symptoms is memory problems. And it's not just "forgetting to text our friends back", though trust me that happens, it's forgetting to pay rent, forgetting to turn the stove off, losing very important things we need for work or school, not locking our door when we leave, fucking up our taxes, missing doctors appointments and medication refills, it is not "uwu I'm a child who can't remember stuff oops" it's "oh fuck the water got shut off because I forgot where I put my mail" and "I lost my job because I forgot which day my shift was for the tenth time".

And imo there's a pretty big difference between that and not having object permanence?? I mean I know people often describe ADHD memory problems as akin to a loss of object permanence but people with ADHD aren't babies. We understand that things exist when we can't see them in a way that infants don't, we just struggle to remember things if we can't see them. Like I know that my birth certificate exists, I just cannot fucking remember where it is right now. That's why it helps to take our cabinet doors off or make magnets for our fridges so we can SEE what we have to eat. Making more of our belongings visible is a legitimate way to manage our symptoms.

Tbh it's incredibly cruel to insinuate that people with ADHD are lazy or making excuses for themselves or literally stupider than a baby because of their medical condition. People with ADHD go our entire lives being told we're faking or we could remember things if we just tried harder and since we didn't we must not care and that we're lazy and stupid, there's no goddamn reason to repeat those ableist lies and pretend they're a hot take. A disabled person struggling with their medical condition is not inherently immature. Disabled people are not immature. We are adults. We have been BEGGING for YEARS to be treated like adults and it is NOT our fault that society continues to deny us that BASIC courtesy.

(And like again at the end of the article the author SAYS AS MUCH but like?? But they keep looping back around to claiming it's still our fault?? Like please explain to me how people with ADHD and disabled people giving into our own oppressors by *checks notes* talking about the very real and debilitating symptoms of our medical conditions?? This whole thing is coming so close to making a solid point but keeps switching its blame to things that are confusing at best and literally ableist at worst. I mean hell, they say being an adult is about being kind and taking care of yourself while using a common ADHD symptom as an example of a person not acting like an adult so like, are you also saying we can't be kind or take care of ourselves unless we overcome our disability?)

And that all brings us to the main problem with this article. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, so I could believe the author just included ADHD on a whim, or didn't mean to imply all of this, but that means they weren't thinking all that hard about what including ADHD actually MEANT or how it twisted their argument, and that makes me wonder how much they were thinking about anything else they wrote. You aboslutely need to consider what you're saying when it comes to topics like this, especially if you are later going to say you care about disability rights, and because this author didn't do that they ended up repeating a lot of ableist bullshit, intentionally or not.

As for the argument that this article really is too "simple" to get into detail about something as complex as disability and ableism, well, then it just shouldn't talk about ADHD at all. One of these things is not like the other, and if they aren't going to give it the care and consideration it deserves then they should leave these topics to the people who will.

This was an interesting article to read. I think it's a little simple but still fun to skim thru.

[batfamcraze]

A list of plot-holes in DC vs Vampires and stuff I wasn’t a fan of, a slight rant...

This is everything I could think of after reading #6. If there’s something on the list that gets explained after #6, I obviously didn’t know lol.

Dick was the Vampire King the whole time, apparently? This plot point doesn’t make sense because Cass would’ve been able to realize that there’s something different about Dick.

Dick (and maybe other vampires) killed Starfire because her blood can disguise Vampires as humans... what??? It’s a cheap plot device added in at the last moment. I didn’t like that at all.

Dick was able to turn Clark into a Vampire but not Kori? Superman and Starfire both get their powers from the sun (They use her blood to be able to pass as human, so Clark’s blood should act the same way by logic). Feels sexist to me 🤷‍♀️

I would’ve preferred Kori as a vampire (yes this is a problem because she’s hot), they didn’t need to kill her off (I’m assuming because it’s not clear rn after issue #6)

Dick said that Kori and Tim were close. Kori is friends with Dick, Jason and Damian, not Tim (I’m pretty sure that was a mistake, unless there’s a comic I’m supposed to read that has them as friends? Lmk)

Or it could be interpreted that Kori and Tim dated, because Dick addresses Kori to Tim as “Your dear Starfire” which absolutely did not happen, if that’s what the writers were implying than I’m super grossed out. And yes, this is an Elseworlds comic but I’m pretty sure their canon ages are what they are here—Tim is 17 at best, and Kori is in her twenties like Dick. Ew!!! 🤢

The Vampires have weird standards and throw the word “loyalty” around when it doesn’t have any weight to it. They kill almost everyone instead of turning them to get a bigger army... What’s the point of having a Vampire army if you’re not turning people? Why are they written like this lol.

Amanda Waller had no idea if there were vampires on the Suicide Squad... huh? Of course she would. Waller would know 100% because of the implants in their heads so she would definitely notice a change in the team. Very big plot hole.

They were hinting that the Joker would be a potential suspect for being the Vampire King, but there was only ONE clue that pushed that idea (The bloodied Joker card that Cass and Jason found). This clue imo wasn’t strong enough, and having Joker confirmed dead in issue #6 was something I really didn’t care about. While reading the comic I forgot Joker existed up until that point. DC loves to overuse Joker and I mistakenly assumed that he would be left out of this comic entirely. Idk if that’s on me but oh well, idc and I’m glad he’s dead ig. Stop adding Joker in random storylines DC!!!

Barbara is the one to tell Bruce that she thinks that someone in the family might be the Vampire King after they discover Joker’s body. Which is a very big leap (...Yes this turns out to be true but you get my point). It feels very weird that they didn’t get an actual clue that it could potentially be a Batfam member. The writers make Barbara go: “Hmm the Vampire King has outsmarted us... Surely it must be a member of the Batfam!” As if they’re the only smart people in the DCU??? Arrogant much? 😒 The writers should’ve put an actual clue to lead that conclusion like they did with Joker. You’re not a detective if you’re just going on hunches without leads smh.

Dick’s reveal as the Vampire King was just poorly done overall. It was more of a dramatic plot twist, than a satisfying reveal.

The Vampires personalities are all over the place. When Ollie kills Hal, Hal admitted that he had all of his memories in tact but he’s still evil. This is a very big plot hole, it’s implied that if you turn into a vampire you’re automatically evil, but it’s not executed well. Imo if you automatically turn evil and you have your previous memories, there should be some sort of change as to HOW they view their memories. The writers are telling me that the heroes with the greatest hearts like Diana, Clark, Dick, etc., have their og memories and they still want to kill people? (Maybe we’re not supposed to think about this too much since that’s the plot of the comic, but I have to add this to the list because they didn’t even want to clarify it properly).

I’m not a fan of the pacing, issue #6 is a little too much compared to the first 5.

The Vampires want to kill all humans but... THAT’S YOUR FOOD??? At the end of issue #6, there's a montage of Vampire Firestorm burning forests so humans can't get oxygen? Do the vampires even want to survive? What is the point of killing humans? What is the REASON?! This comic is way too doom and gloom with no logic to back it up. BIG plot hole.

They brought back Hal Jordan’s “yellow is his weakness” because it’s convenient (Honestly this weakness fluctuates from time to time in canon so I’ll give it a pass ig, it’s up to preference)

Dick says at the end of the issue “I just wanted one of my brothers to join me. Is that too much to ask?” Dick planned to turn Jason, but he didn’t care about Tim, Damian or Duke. He crushes Tim’s head without a second-thought AND with no explanation given, unlike he did with Bruce, (he said to Bruce that he didn’t trust him) Dick says to Damian “You could have been the best of use if it weren’t for that little temper.” Which is fair-ish? And Duke is nowhere to be seen. So what Dick actually meant is, he wanted to turn just Jason. You could’ve at least been honest Dick lol.

Jason never had any resentment towards Dick in canon. It was ooc. It’s a fanon interpretation that somehow made its way in this comic. Dick and Jason are both on respectful terms with eachother.

Jason saying that he “held back” doesn’t mean that he thinks he’s better than Dick. It means that he doesn’t want to fight against his family members, he’s not holding back on this fight against Dick because he killed their entire family and that he might be next! (I put this here because people need to understand this, and not be overly sensitive!)

Dick didn’t even want to turn Cass. Plot hole.

STEPHANIE AND DUKE AREN’T THERE!!! STOP FORGETTING ABOUT THOSE TWO DC! 😡

In conclusion, this comic is a mess, please do not take it seriously because the writers aren’t either lol

Let me know if there’s something that I’ve missed!

[space-blue]

Dune, the mostly spoiler free review.

Spoilers will be under breaks.

Having slept on it (and since I got to bed at 4am I needed that), and having eaten enough sugar to kickstart my brain again, I can now confirm, wholeheartedly, that Dune is a masterpiece.

Hardly a hot take on the internet right now, I know. I'll say this, to start on a low note : Dune's greatest flaw is that the side characters (anyone outside of Jessica and Paul) can be left wanting development. Some non-book readers might struggle to get attached.

The film simply doesn't have time to deliver narrative, mood and emotional characters the way Fellowship of the Rings did, as I often see the film compared to LOTR. Unlike LOTR, Dune has not shot part 2, and it doesn't have enough action beats/plot beats to give you engaging character interactions for 1/3 of the story.

As a result some characters seem to be "seen in passing". Which... Bothered me a little at 3am, but has since faded. My memories turn to Jessica and how incredible Fergusson was. Absolutely show stealing. And Skarsgard!! Yeesh, the Baron Harkonnen does not need more screen time to be intimidating...

All the cast delivers. The visuals, design, costume, photography... It's clear to me everyone involved in this was at the top of their craft and giving it their all for a career turning point of a production. I even struggle to believe book 2 could land such a punch again, I mean, I've rarely been punched in the face this hard by a movie...

I mean, I'm not the type to be into spaceships or anything. I even struggle with models in the Star Wars universe and I published 58 fan fics for that fandom so... And yet in this film, hah... When the Atreides ships are introduced (you see these big transports in the trailer) I was like "No. He didn't... OMG the madlad, he did." — the music, the visuals, the scale... And then there's the thopters, and I was having moments of prescience myself, seeing actual ship/spaceship nerds rise up, foam frothing at the mouth. Modeling thopters and making videos about them for years to come.

The audio was loud, bold. The music alien. The sound mixing done so well I had a snappy thought 2min in, along the lines of "I hope Nolan sits to this film and learns something about sound mixing from this" (don't @ me, I'm still spicy about my viewing of Tenet).

In short, Dune is spectacular. It oozes with mythos and charm, feels lived in, intimidating yet beguiling. The plot is as sound as the book's the visuals are a cinema/SFF fan's wet dream, the acting and production value are stupid crazy, and the only drawback IMO — for non book readers — will be the "in passing" characters (like Raban, Piter, Gurney, Hawat... Who simply don't have the space and time to shine yet) and the ending, which is 100% "INSERT CD 2"

It feels jarring and leaves you begging for more. But book readers probably won't feel the same pang, since we can now close our eyes and image how bonkers part two can be in such visuals.

I've over-heard old french people saying it was super boring and slow and... lol I can't disagree more, but then again the trailer does market an action movie, and the film is not any more action packed than BR2049 was. When the action comes calling it's big, fast... When it isn't, the movie is moody, deliberate, and meticulous.

It won't be for everyone, but if you've so much as "enjoyed" the books, you'll be having the experience of a lifetime.

Before I delve into some mild spoilers I'd like to make a disclaimer: Denis has begged people to see Dune in cinema, and I was thinking "of course, what film maker wouldn't want people in cinema?" but also suspected he might want the numbers in order to get part 2 started.

I owe him an apology for these impure thoughts. You MUST watch Dune in cinema, not for Denis or part 2 (though, come on...), but for YOURSELF. There is not a single home cinema set up that can do justice to this film. It's the definition of why you go to the cinema for. It's epic in scale, it makes you jump at startling moments, it punches and screams at you, and makes you squint at others, and you walk out of there with a sense of having witnessed something like... To me, like Interstellar. Remember seeing that docking sequence scene in the theater and walking out being like "holy shit" ? Well Dune is very much like that. It was made for the big screen, and anything short of IMAX or Dolby ATMOS would be a disservice to both the film and yourself.

I will be seeing it in France the instant it comes out in September. It begs rewatching.

Now for some spoilery thoughts (mild spoilers, and a warning for further spoilers below).

The film takes surprisingly little time to delve on certain topics. Like the spice. Sure you're told it's important, and the economics that drive the story make it feel important, but not nearly as much as I suspected it would be. There is no clunky exposition on the topic (lol no fucking time for that!) no scene where someone shoves spice in your face and goes “oh but blah blah spice must flow”. It’s said in passing and newcomers better hold on to their seat and pay attention.

Sadly though a fair bit of the dialogue was expositional imo, and too little of it over all felt like that heart warming moment between Paul and Leto. It's not a big drawback, but since I enjoy more character driven stories, I regretted the lack of general emotional investment.

On the point of emotions though, I was taken aback by Jamis! The scene of him in the trailers "I'll show you"... creates a sort of very subtle and implied dynamic that was probably one of the biggest heart punch for me, and started driving home how dire Paul's visions can be. I suspect some viewers won't interpret it the way I did though.

THE VOICE WAS SO WELL MADE YOU GUYS!! The thopter escape scene was always a "meh, sure, they get away" moment for me in the books. Good teamwork between Paul and Jessica... But *hearing it* was a completely different business. I was at the edge of my seat, I LOVED IT.

There's also a lot of actual signing in the film! And the Sardaukar don't speak english but a super guthural language. Kind of like making a conlang merging German and the Black Speech of Mordor and giving it to a Danish to speak. Felt very cool.

The shields were just as badass as you think they'll be. The slow impact weapons are just... *chef kiss*

Finally some heavy spoilers on book story details (jihad, Muad'dib, some characters) :

There is no mentions of Jihad, but not because it's avoided. The visions of a fight Paul has are rare, and he mentions them once. At that time he says war or massacre but not Jihad. I didn't notice until I was asked.

He also doesn't chose the name Muad'Dib. If I recall that's right after killing Jamis, but doesn't happen here, even if we see the literal muad'dib in the desert. It's also fine. Those scenes were at the very end, and I felt like slamming newcomers with such a significant moment with alien language at the very end might be a mistake. I'm curious to see how it's handled in part 2 though.

I was looking forward to Piter... His role is uber minor. As much as Hawat's. Like, the Bull that killed Leto's father gets more screen time, funnily enough. There's a heavy imagery around it that's going to fuel many video essays.

[seongsangi]

nonstop (2)

author’s note: READ PART 1 IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY. 

pairing: seonghwa x reader

summary: after a night with jaehyun, you wake up to find a mysterious stranger lurking in your room. you have no idea who he is, but he knows you all too well.

word count: 2.8k

warnings: incubus seonghwa, overstimulation, spitting, creampie — this shits kinda nasty imo BUT LET ME KNOW HOW YALL FEEL

***********************************************

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, Seonghwa?"

*********************************************** 

"Why are you with Y/N?" Seonghwa raises his voice.

Jaehyun gets defensive. "Wait, how do you know Y/N?"

Seonghwa scoffs, moving towards the bed to pick you up bridal style, eyeing the mess you and Jaehyun made. "Don't worry about how I know her. You said you would be right back, but I guess you couldn't keep your dick in your pants."

"Duh, that's just who we are. Where the hell are you going?" Jaehyun tries to make a move to stop him from leaving, but Seonghwa blinks out of sight with you in his arms.

The next time you open your eyes, the clock reads 4 am. You don't remember how you got back to your place, but everything from last night seems like a blur. You're not even in the same clothes, in fact you're in pajamas. Now you’re not sure if it actually happened or if you've just been in bed all night. Granted, you do still feel drained, no energy to move, and definitely sore in the lower region. You recall just how hard Jaehyun was making you see stars. It couldn't have been just a dream.

"Maybe it did happen," you whisper to yourself.

"Maybe what happened?" You hear a voice you don't recognize from the corner of your room. What the fuck who the fuck is that?! You scream, trying to climb out of bed and head for the door. He's so much faster than you. He blinks in front of the door just before you reach it, eyes glowing a deep red. Holy fuck this is not happening. You're shaking, scared of what will happen now. So many questions are racing through your head but you're too afraid to say anything. You back away slowly, trying to put some distance between yourselves.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," his voice is calm, but his eyes tell a different story. They're intimidating, he's intimidating, but at the same time, your nerves are less on edge and you start to feel more relaxed just from that. "Trust me, I would never hurt you, Y/N."

"H-how do you know my name? How did you get in here? Who the fuck are you?" You whisper, the back of your knees hitting the edge of the bed. He's got you trapped in your own room with no way out. His eyes soften, the red glow fading. He makes his way towards you, and you can't help but take in his figure. Oh god, he's so fine. You thought Jaehyun was the most gorgeous man you've ever seen, but this stranger might just give him a run for his money. His face is beautifully chiseled, all black outfit hugging him perfectly. Bitch are you stupid why are you fawning over him when he could quite literally kill you right now?

"Now why would I kill you, sweet girl?" He's standing right in front of you, but you can't bring yourself to make a move. He runs his hand through your hair, his soft touch making you feel lightheaded. His other hand wraps around your waist, pulling you in close. You’re not shaking any more, but it feels like you’re in a trance. You feel like putty under his hands, even though you still have no idea who he is or what he wants. Fuck this should not be happening but you can't get away even if you tried. He has the same aura as Jaehyun, making you feel helpless when you're around them, making you crave more of their touch.

"Why are you thinking about him when I'm right here?" There's a hint of jealousy in his voice, and he holds you even tighter against his body. The hand that was stroking your hair now has a grip on it, craning your head back to get a good look at his face. His eyes are glowing again, but you don't feel fear. You feel something you shouldn't be feeling in this situation, but you can't do anything about the wetness pooling in your panties. He senses that, a small smirk on his face when he realizes he's got you right where he wants you.

"How do you know what I'm thinking?" Your breath gets caught in your throat when he leans down, lips grazing your neck in just the right spot. There's no fight in you left, just a strong desire to have him touch you more.

"There's so much about me you don't know," his hand inching its way up to your breasts. "But I bet you want to find out, don't you?" Every single touch leaves a burning sensation in its wake. You let your head loll to the side, giving in to the way his lips feel on your neck and the way his hand underneath your shirt is making your core warm. You don't know what's gotten into you, but you don't think you have it in you to tell him to stop.

"Show me," you sound pathetic, basically whining for him. You can feel the smirk he's got on his face, ego skyrocketing at your pleas.

“How do you want it?” his hands are a bit more eager now, playing with your breasts and pinching your nipple with just the right amount of pressure.

“Any way you like,” sighing as he leaves a dark hickey on your neck, trailing his lips down to your chest to do the same. He’s marking you like you’re his, but you might as well be in this moment. He pushes you down so you’re sitting on the edge, legs dangling. He’s still standing, towering over you, making you feel tiny in his presence. He reaches to unbutton his shirt and you almost forget to breathe, taking in his half naked figure right before your eyes. His abs are so well-defined, tempted to reach out and touch them. He looks so attractive, the moonlight shining on him from your window, making him seem like a god. But you know those eyes mean something else, but you can’t bring yourself to worry about that. The only thing you can think of is letting him have his way with you.

“Let me take care of you sweetheart,” he says as he kneels, hands on your thighs. His velvety voice makes you spread your legs for him, watching as he settles in between. He starts off soft, kissing your inner thigh, so close yet so far from where you want him. He’s lost in your arousal, loving how much you crave him. When he tugs on your shorts, you lift your hips so he can pull them down. You’re drenched and he takes pride in that, sliding two fingers across your core. You can hear how wet you are, such a lewd sound that it makes you blush.

“All for me, huh?” he sounds so smug, slipping his fingers in and setting the pace. You clench around him, trying to change angles since you’re still sore. He senses a bit of discomfort from you, quickly attributing it to Jaehyun from earlier.

“Tell me what he did to you,” his voice is calm but stern, hand still pumping in and out of you. You’re confused, how does he know about Jaehyun? Why is he asking about him when he’s the one in between your legs? You wrinkle your forehead, not sure what to say.

“Did he eat you out?” You don’t want to tell him about your time with Jaehyun, you just want to focus on him right now.

“He didn’t. He’s missing out,” he brings his fingers to his mouth, tasting your arousal. “You taste so sweet baby.” Fuck that’s so hot, you bite your lip at the sight. Before you can even blink, his lips are attached to your core, licking long stripes up your slit. His skilled tongue draws out long moans from you. His hands are keeping your legs apart, your knuckles turning white from how hard you’re gripping the sheets. When he sucks on your clit, you just about lose it, throwing your head back and closing your eyes, focusing on the feeling of his tongue flicking against your sensitive nub. A random thought comes to you: you don’t even know his name.

“Seonghwa, you’ll need it for later,” he says with a wink. He lets go of your thighs, opting to use his hands to spread your lips apart, committing the sight of you to memory. Core glistening with your own wetness and his saliva, cheeks flushed, chest heaving, eyes heavy. You don’t know how sexy you look to him right now. As he plays with your clit, he slips two fingers in again, doubling the pleasure. You fall back onto the bed, unable to hold yourself up from how good he’s making you feel. He loves the power he has over you, over your body. He's learning what makes you moan a little louder, what makes you clench around his fingers, what makes your legs shake. You feel like you're about to explode, the pit in your stomach growing more and more.

"Don't stop please Seonghwa," he could listen to you begging for him all night. Of course he won't stop, he wants to give you everything you ask for and then some. He swirls your clit around his tongue, moving his fingers as fast as he can to drive you crazy. He wants to see your body writhe in pleasure, the pleasure he's giving you. His ministrations quickly send you over the edge, a moaning mess underneath him, trying to push yourself away from him when your orgasm washes over. He doesn't let you get away, licking your core and pumping his fingers nonstop, the sound of you saying his name fueling him.

He feels a rush of power coursing through him, feeding on your fucked out state. He almost chuckles to himself, if you're feeling this way already, you have no idea what's in store for you soon. He takes mercy on you, trying your best to get him to stop so you can gather yourself after the intense orgasm he just gave you. He stands up, wiping your wetness off his chin. You feel so tired, you could literally fall asleep right now.

"That's not even the best part yet," he says to you. Your eyes are closed, but you can hear him taking his pants off. Fuck you don't know if you can take it.

"Mmm, you have no choice baby," you still don't know how he's able to read your mind. You open your eyes slightly to see Seonghwa fully naked, member in hand. He reaches for your tank top, pulling it off swiftly to see you in all your glory. The marks he left on you look so pretty on your skin, making him feel cocky knowing he left them there. He lightly taps the tip of his dick against your core, teasing you with it.

"Are you gonna fuck me better than Jaehyun?" Oh god why the fuck did you just say that. His eyes narrow, the deep red coming back, obviously affected by your sudden outburst. Fuck you're in for it now.

"Yes you are, I can't believe you just said that." Instead of his member, he uses his hand to slap your pussy over and over, punishing you for being such a brat. He's being rough with you, but you both know you deserve it. You can't even think about Jaehyun any more when all your thoughts are now clouded with Seonghwa.

"I'm sorry," you cry out, "I didn't mean it." You can't help the tears that leave your eyes. It feels so good, but it's so overwhelming.

"I think you did mean it. You want me to fuck you so badly, you got it." He slides in without warning and with much ease. He grabs your hands, pinning them above your head. His hips are snapping against yours so quickly, so roughly, you can't think straight. Your whimpers only egg him on even more. You can't close your legs, can't move your hands, can't do anything but let him absolutely ruin you. He leans down, watching your face contort in pleasure. His brows are furrowed, letting you know he's feeling the same pleasure as you. You feel like you're being too loud, worried your neighbors in the apartment building may hear. He slaps one hand over your mouth, sensing your concern.

One hand keeping your wrists in place, the other hand keeping you quiet, dark eyes staring into yours, hips making your head dizzy, fuck what more could you ask for? He's so in tune with your body, your emotions are going wild. The more his hips rock against yours, the weaker you feel. How does he have so much control over you? His eyes continue to glow but you wouldn't put it past him to punish you again if you dare to look away.

His hips don't stop, but he does slow down his movements. He pulls out to the tip and inches his way back in repeatedly, which feels just as heavenly as him ravaging your body with quick thrusts. The slow thrusts this time still manage to make you crazy. He lets your wrists go, but you still can't move them. Your hands are stuck above your head, no matter how much you try to reach out and touch him. His hand moves from your mouth to your clit, rubbing slow circles. You bite your lip to stifle your moans, still maintaining eye contact with him as he uses your body. His free hand roams over your breasts, squeezing your nipples harder than before.

"Tell me you like it," he huffs, leaning down to capture one of your buds in his mouth.

"Oh my god I love it, you feel so so good," you moan, telling the truth because you feel like he would know otherwise. He hums at your affirmation, pleased with your response.

"Yeah I love that big dick in my tight little pussy," you keep going, not holding back your need for him. He takes a deep breath, feeding more and more on the pleasure you feel and the vulgar words you're saying.

"You're a slut," he moves from your breasts to your face, lips barely touching. "Open your mouth," you do as he says, sticking your tongue out a bit. He lets a trail of spit fall onto your tongue. You swallow quickly, giving him a sly smile. You've never done that before, but it feels so right with him, turning you on even more.

"I can't get enough of you," he's definitely consuming loads of energy from you, you must be feeling so weak and delirious right now. Before he takes too much, he wants to make you finish again. He sits up straight, hand stroking your hair, his soft touch now such a contrast from how brutal he was being earlier. His hips are still moving slowly but deeply inside you, trying to savor the way your walls feel around him.

"Harder," your voice is faint, but he heard you loud and clear. He pushes your legs towards your chest, the new angle letting him reach even deeper inside you. He loves the sight of you spread wide open for him, taking him so well.

"Play with yourself," he commands, and you're now able to move your hands from above your head. You quickly reach for your clit, rubbing fast circles to chase your high as Seonghwa fucks you hard. Your toes curl, clenching your walls at the same time. Neither of you can take your eyes off each other, making the moment even more intimate. You're watching him as he gets lost in your pussy, he's watching you as you bring yourself closer and closer to the edge.

"Will you cum in me, please?" you half whisper, half moan. You're incredible, he thinks to himself. How can he pass that up if you sound so sweet begging for him?

With a few more thrusts, you both reach your orgasms at the same time. Seonghwa groans loudly, spilling himself into you as you cry out. You feel so full, so dirty, and so tired. You can't keep your eyes open, head rolling to the side by the end of your high. Seonghwa, on the other hand, feels invigorated. Arguably the best sex he's ever had, he feels an immense power running through him. He's addicted to you, to the way you say his name, to the way you make him feel on top of the world. He doesn't want to let you go just yet, cradling your body as you drift to sleep again. He cleans you up with a snap of his fingers, tucking you under the covers. He leaves a lingering kiss on your forehead, distorting your memories so this would all feel like a dream when you wake up.

[atopearth]

Ikemen Sengoku Part 14 - Date Masamune Sequel

Honestly, I don't really remember much about Masamune anymore, I read over my blog post about his route and I definitely recall the stuff that happened in his route, but the crucial part of my feelings is kinda lost to me😅 So yeah now, I don't really feel anything for him, hopefully I'll like him again lol. Anyway, lmao at the heroine thinking Kanetsugu is like a mini God of War and that he stabs his dango like a sword🤣 Hmm, so I guess Kicho believes that there needs to be war to give people a sense of life through life and death situations basically? I mean, I don't disagree that it probably makes people "mature" having it in your face knowing that your time limit in life is limited, can die any time and the struggles, but yeah, gotta agree with Masamune, why does he have such a problem with people living peacefully and not starving lol. I mean, some people probably die without even getting to experience "life" as he says because they're not fortunate enough to even live it because of the lack of food, money and resources.

It's very endearing how Masamune tries to learn words from the future and even uses stuff like girlfriend to her haha. It's also really cool how the heroine is taking rope training very seriously so that she can try to help disable enemies without killing them, whilst protecting herself. I think it was really sweet how Masamune comforted the heroine when she was slowly realising that she was changing and that losing her memories one by one is becoming a bigger deal than it was initially. I think what touched me the most was when he showed and told her that she doesn't need to be scared of losing anything because he will always remember her for who she is and love her. It was heartbreaking to see the heroine have to helplessly cause Masamune's injury because she wasn't able to move due to her body losing its functions from the.. timeline discrepancies I guess. But very heartbreaking for Masamune to have to witness someone close to him "die" to save him, I hope they reunite soon. It seems like Kicho had a sister huh, guess that will be his tragic backstory in the future when we get his route? I think it was really sweet how much the heroine desperately wanted to live so that her death wouldn't bring pain to Masamune. Kicho and Kanetsugu are so hot, I can't help but love them, especially Kanetsugu when he took care in dressing the heroine's wounds and told her to not blame herself for doing what she could to save Masamune. He's so gentle, my heart😭 Omggg Kanetsugu's smile!! Okay, kill me because I'm falling for the wrong person here, I'm sorry Masamune😭 OMG, he sung her a lullaby because she couldn't sleep. I'm so on board Kanetsugu's train, I am never getting off.

I really respect the heroine's conviction to continue on and bring about a prosperous country even if Masamune is dead. I think her saying she's always been prepared to give him the rest of her life was very sweet, and probably the best way to remember him. I also really love how the story shows how terrible the heroine losing her memories is because it's directly affecting alot of their memories she shares with Masamune and all the times they spent together, which makes you better understand how big of a deal it all is, whilst empathising with her pain. Definitely much better than what was shown in Nobunaga's sequel imo. I love Masamune's confidence that even if the heroine forgets him and her love for him, he'll just make her fall in love with him again. He's probably just as distraught as her, but I love how he always reassures her of all this so confidently that you really can't help but really want to believe him.

Overall, I definitely enjoyed this sequel much more than Nobunaga’s lol. I’ll admit that my feelings towards Masamune kinda fell off near the end since they were separated, and I honestly couldn’t help but fall for Kanetsugu instead. His beauty, his kindness and his personality is just soo lovable! Anyway, I still really enjoyed Masamune’s route. I found it really sweet how accommodating he was towards the heroine every time her memories made her feel distraught. It obviously affected him as well, but he always made sure to prioritise her feelings and comfort her because he knew she was the one suffering the most, and I just loved how considerate and sweet he was the whole time. I also really liked how the heroine understood Masamune enough that even if Masamune were dead, she would have lived on to help bring about the world he wanted to created because she knew that this is what he would want. I really like their relationship and how devoted they are to each other and their goals.

[brave-clarice]

“Clarice” Liveblog: Episodes 5 & 6

Since these are extraordinarily late, I tried to keep them more concise/focused than before. I’m sorry for how long it’s taken me to (almost) catch up. And to the handful of you who’ve enjoyed these and encouraged me to do them: thank you!

Episode 5, “Get Right With God”

the music at the beginning of this episode might just be in the maintenance guy’s headphones(!) but it was still a…Choice.

there’s something so tragic about watching Clarice be unable to use her legs… :’(

this whole scenario feels like a twisted parallel universe version of the end of Hannibal.

glad to see Ardelia finally has her priorities straight and is going to fight for her best friend! let’s forget her Episode 4 subplot ever happened.

good: the warrior finding a weapon even in the direst of circumstances!

bad: those damn moths are back. at least this time they might be drug-induced.

“she worked Bill alone” no, she didn’t. not really. (Hannibal: I’m right here.)

stop trying to make Likable Paul happen, it’s never going to happen!!!

I HATE the “Reesey” nickname, y’all. HATE. IT.

plus, we know that her dad called her “Baby”?

her father’s appearance doubles down on the end-of-Hannibal vibes...Not Sure If Want.

wow, Clarice is being literally tortured? thanks, I hate it!!!

really doubt that Clarice’s Pinto used to belong to her father (who drives a truck in the books??)... weird flex.

and how would she even have gotten it? her mother would either have driven that car into the ground out of necessity or else have sold it for the money the Starlings needed so desperately.

Pintos also weren’t super high-quality cars and were definitely not built to last ~20 years.

Clarice already being able to chat with her father whenever she needs to really undermines the therapy Hannibal will eventually give her, but…I guess they’ve already accepted they’ll never make it that far?

“you’re trying to get in my head” yeah, and she’s doing it, too–’cause she learned from the best!

“you get an answer, I get an answer, Felker.” she’s Hannibal’s girl all right.

this episode’s had flashes of brilliance before diving back into…whatever tf watching one of your favorite characters of all time being tortured is.

I really wanted Ardelia to say that no, but Clarice was like a sister to her.

it took FIVE episodes to get some lamb imagery, but we’ve been looking at moths for the entire season?!

oof, Clarice voicing her own insecurities about her childhood abandonment and using them to twist Felker’s arm...painful but smart.

HANNAH!!!

I would die 4 baby Clarice

after all that, Clarice is going to apologize to Ardelia about last week? this episode SUCKS.

Good: Clarice playing mind games with Felker like Hannibal did to her; Ardelia going to bat for her bestie, lamb flashbacks, baby Clarice, and HANNAH!

Bad: So much. Clarice being medically tortured multiple times, moth hallucinations, the several-years-premature (imo) Daddy-as-Guardian-Angel plot device, “Reesey”...did I mention Clarice getting repeatedly tortured?!

Ugly: Krendler backstory + making out with his wife. Ew.

Wow, this episode was a hot mess, and I kind of hated it. I loved Clarice’s really Hannibalesque approach to Felker, and I’m so thrilled that Hannah got mentioned at all (tho...did they need to be so heavy-handed with the helmet and gun and everything?) Also nice to see Ardelia behaving much more in-character. That said, it was sickening and imo totally unnecessary to further traumatize Clarice the way they did. To make her almost helpless.

Clarice, and by extension Rebecca Breeds (who is fantastic and deserves better), has been given very little range so far. She’s frequently been shown as miserable, afraid, desperate, traumatized, angry, resentful, but I also want to see her joyful, laughing, silly, relaxed...something else that will give her depth. Her life wasn’t miserable 24/7, 365. It was just unfulfilling. We got glimpses of this in the first two episodes. PLEASE bring it back!

And rn I’m questioning how Clarice’s career can possibly drag on for another six years after this. Her apparent PTSD is already interfering with her job performance as it is--this experience is only going to make it worse. Her “body count” in Hannibal was around five, iirc, and that was enough to slap her with the “Death Angel” moniker. In the show at least four people have died in close proximity to Clarice in the space of like...a week. How does she come back from that, even as the savior of Catherine Martin? It’s a PR nightmare for obth Clarice and the FBI.

They’ve also sort of forgotten that the Martins existed while continuing to flesh out Krendler’s (?!) character? It’s weird.

I almost don’t even want to watch Episode 6 after that. But here goes...

Episode 6, “How Does It Feel to Be So Beautiful?”

the freaking MOTHS again, I hate them!

frankly, yeah, Clarice should be on leave.

Clarice’s nondescript monochrome suits and constant ponytail are just so boring. in the book she’s described as never having to put effort into making her hair look good--so why is it always pulled back in this show?

I’m not sure it’s very in-character for Clarice, at this point in her career, to go over her boss’s head to get out of admin leave (one she really needs to take tbh) even for the sake of solving a case

lol what the actual hell @ AG Martin guilt-tripping Clarice, who was very recently tortured and almost died, for not calling Catherine back? Clarice is not Catherine’s therapist!

THIS is what my Vogue-reading heroine with burgeoning great taste wears for a night out? so disappointing.

never in my life did I think I’d be sitting through Krendler’s personal drama in a show ABOUT CLARICE STARLING.

her costume sucks and her hairstyle’s from years in the future, but dang does Clarice look gorgeous.

and I love thinking of her getting a taste of the luxury she’ll enjoy with Hannibal. :)

you know what? I think I was actually fine with them forgetting that the Martins were in this show.

whyyy is Krendler being made so sympathetic?!

now Catherine Martin “loved to sew” just like Frederica Bimmel? hmm. (tbf, maybe this is in the novel, and I’ve just forgotten.)

her gift for Clarice is sweet, though.

so beautiful, indeed

Christ on a cracker, that confrontation between the Martins was painful to watch (not a criticism). this show’s AG and her daughter are very much two of a kind in terms of emotional manipulation.

I stan one (1) doofus

now either Catherine’s gaslighting Clarice...or Clarice’s trauma (over BILL! again with this!) is so pervasive that it’s twisted her memories. either way, I hate it.

so Krendler’s lawyer is dirty and that’s why he’ll (probably) turn against Clarice? but WHY? why can’t Krendler just suck?

Good: Clarice looking gorgeous, Ardelia continuing to fight for Clarice, female characters in positions of authority everywhere

Bad: Clarice’s underwhelming costumes, Clarice’s primary/worst trauma apparently STILL being Buffalo Bill & having Clarice break down crying again (and NOT over what happened last week, which would tbh make a lot more sense).

Sad: Shaan’s backstory about his wife, everything involving Catherine

Ugly: Krendler subplot. Ugh.

I just don’t know how I feel about this installment. Wish I cared more about the overarching conspiracy plot, but I’m really only here for Clarice and Ardelia. And while no show can stand on the shoulders of a single character, for a show about Clarice, there seems to be quite a bit of screentime devoted to her bosses, Martin and Krendler, and even to her team members. And all without Clarice herself getting much character development. They don’t seem to be exploring much of her character other than her traumatic backstories, and I’m no longer very hopeful that she’ll be much more fleshed out in the last four episodes, either. It’s a bummer. I really think Rebecca could shine like Jodie did if she were given a chance.

Most of the scenes with the Martins were visceral and felt so real that it was hard to watch. That said...the AG Martin/Catherine content all strikes me as being somewhat detached from the rest of the show, as if the writers are making it up as they go along with no real end goal in mind.

Man...these two were rough going. Very little humor or warmth and absolutely no joy. Of course the source material is dark, so a somewhat dark crime drama is to be expected, but I really think the show needs a slightly less intense, bleak and (dare I say it?) unpleasant episode. But they writers have really dug themselves into a hole by zeroing in on Clarice’s PTSD. And unlike in Hannibal, there’s no love interest with whom she (and by extension, the audience) can flee her misery and pain. 

I'm cautiously optimistic about the rest of the season. A lot of the ingredients are there, and despite my many criticisms, it’s been great to spend time with a character I love. Fingers crossed that they finish strong!

[manicdragondreamgirl]

I haven’t had chemistry since like 2008, and I’m also an idiot who likes to make my friends upset, so I rated the periodic table in order to tilt my friends:

Hydrogen - this is like your childhood friend who has always been with you more or less and always will be down to get a drink and chill even tho you haven’t spoken in years. Solid bro imo 7.5/10

Helium - always down for a good time, even if probably created Alvin and the Chipmunks which in some places is considered a war crime. 4/10

Lithium - Gives me bitchy vibes and is flammable as fuck if I remember. Skinny bitch with an attitude 3/10

Beryllium - idk this sounds like a sailor moon villain lol for that it can have a 6/10

Boron - more like BORONG amirite ha ha wait no seriously I have no idea lol 5/10 clean neutral rating

Carbon - *screaming* 2/10 I will not be taking questions

Nitrogen - cool cool cool tight tight tight 9/10 Nitrogen just is the cool hot chick you wish you were

Oxygen - kid who takes up all the glory for the group project even tho you did all the work, 4/10 for natural charisma

Fluorine - lol what are you knockoff chlorine lmfao bitch 3/10 reminds me of the dentist

Neon - I can vibe with this boy for his contributions to signs which cause my eyes to scream 8/10 modernized Art Deco thanks you

Sodium - 10/10 this is me and I won’t be taking questions next element

Magnesium - magnesium is a close relative of magnificent and therefore I think the case is closed folks 9/10

Aluminum - 10/10 for providing a home to my Diet Coke addiction I’d be dead without you

Silicon - 6.9/10 :smirk:

Phosphorous - This has a very soundly name and it’s welcome to do that but idk, not a fan, seems like he’d be smelly, 2/10

Sulfur - 1/10 pretty sure that dog farts are purely comprised of this and as such if I was leaving negative ratings I would

Chlorine - 7.8/10 for being in pools so we could swim without brain eating amoeba in the south you a champ

Argon - he seems like a nerd jk this guy has a good color 9/10 for just being himself

Potassium - I hate bananas and this word gives me the physical sensation of biting into one but only by thinking of abstract letters and making them into something which we can nutrientise from bananas and to me that shit is bananas, b a n a n a s — 3/10 for making me sing hollaback girl thru adhd word association

Calcium - hm my brain went to mega milk so you get a 2/10 today bud I don’t make the rules

Scandium - pretty sure this is fake lol what’s next faxdium, e-Mailite and copinium? 5/10

Titanium - this song’s a banger and also is the only thing that lets me wear earrings 10/10

Vanadium - if your erection lasts for longer than like idk it’s supposed to then don’t take vanadium wait what do you mean it’s not an ED treatment 4/10

Chromium - decent bloke shame the browser eats all your memory 5/10

Manganese - if a weeb tries to tell me how to pronounce mayonnaise one more time... 1/10

Iron - excellent tool against the fey, in your blood, what a bro, 10/10 this bitch slaps

Cobalt - has a powerful energy; I respect him. 8/10

Nickel - if I had a nickel for every time someone made this joke lol 5/10 he’s doing his best

Copper - taste bad 3/10

Zinc - isn’t that the dude in the green tunic and white tights who saves premcess Lelda or something lol 7/10 those games are good

Gallium - seems like a prick 4/10

Germanium - sounds like a child pronouncing geraniums which are superior 3/10

Arsenic - bad vibes coach 1/10

Selenium - isn’t this just sailor moon lol 10/10 love this bitch

Bromine - farmine wherever you aremine - 9/10 I love a good bro

Krypton - he’s okay I guess 5/10

Rubidium - yet another Steven universe villain who will be redeemed I imagine 4/10 seems a bit dull

Strontium - I feel nothing when I see this lad’s name and that seems like a shame 1/10 I don’t like it

Yttrium - this is an atrium in Yharnam, or something 8/10 would love to sit in one and make contact with higher beings

Zirconium - oh wait THIS is the sailor moon villain from the dead moon circus! 9/10 I enjoyed that arc

Niobium - seems sassy, I like that in an element 7/10

Molybdenum - I hate this one, rancid. 1/10 for making me have flashbacks to difficult Ancient Greek vocabulary there is no fucking way that sound combination is anything but Beta and Delta borking and then Latin being like oh imma steal that

Technetium - 6/10 decent name but seems a bit forced

Ruthenium - 5/10 kindly old lady element I guess lol

Rhodium - 10/10 this ain’t my first rhodium babee this lad has good vibes what a name what a king

Palladium - 10/10 for making me think of paladins

Silver - 12/10 I’m breaking the rules for this silver is the best it is so cool and also it is the other best tool for dealing with supernatural creatures when iron has failed you highly suggest Even if I am extremely allergic to it going into my ears...wait hold on

Cadmium - 2/10 sounds like a total douche

Indium - 8/10, i just think it’s independent and neat

Tin - 10/10 good ear sounds when involving rain and roof shapes and automatically reminds me of Nora Jones’s come away with me album which is also 10/10

Antimony - 7/10 decent protagonist good name all around seems rad

Tellurium - tell ur mom what? That’s so early 2010s league of legends humor bro 2.5/10

Iodine - strikes fear in my soul from having it poured on my wounds but this is why I have more pain tolerance than god 5.3/10

Xenon - I think this is a declension of Xena warrior princess which is a win in my eyes, 8/10

Caesium - kind of has a cunty Latin name, 4.5/10

Barium - yeah boss, bury’im! 7.5/10 I love a good mobster gag

Lanthanum - A bit pretentious on the Tolkien spectrum sorry bud 3/10 sounds like you’d be the dickwad elf everyone hates

Cerium - 6.5/10 I like this one, gives me a clean vibe

Praseodymium - the fuck who sneezed all their alphabet soup onto the paperwork and called it an element Christ we can’t keep doing this 1.5/10

Neodymium - oh my god what did I just say 1/10

Promethium - thank Christ we’re back to greek 9/10 Prometheus was a Chad I could get behind

Samarium - 5/10 gives me boring wizard vibes

Europium - 4.5/10 don’t rename opium chrissake can’t take these nerds anywhere

Gadolinium - 5/10 it’s a starship knockoff but it’s trying to be bold with the G sound

Terbium - 2/10 I don’t vibe with this one

Dysprosium - sounds like an antidepressant that has a lot of shitty side effects 3/10

Holmium - sounds like someone anxious asking their beloved to hold them 8/10 I like hurt/comfort fics

Erbium - you can’t just describe something as herby you daft bastard 2/10

Thulium - sounds like a spell I like it 8.5/10

Ytterbium - macguffin in a shite sci-fi show that gets highly overrated because BBC produced it and superwholock stans emerge and go utterly feral 1/10

Lutetium - bards are an element I agree 10/10

Hafnium - sounds like a river (my dog) sound and has a cute vibe, I’d offer it head pats 7/10

Tantalum - noooo you can’t be sad yuor so sexe haha 6.9/10 tantalizing

Tungsten - 10/10 this is a lad with history

Rhenium - 5.5/10 it’s ok

Osmium - 4/10 I wasn’t a big wizard of oz fan

Iridium - 9/10 sounds like iridescent and that’s in my top 10 favorite words and concepts

Platinum - 10/10 best Pokémon game

Gold - 7.9/10 all that glitters and all but it’s still pretty on some people, silver is better tho

Mercury - yikes 8/10 so it doesn’t kill me

Thallium - sounds like the brother character in a ps4 exclusive western rpg that oddly falls under the radar in terms of reviews and gets shafted at awards for no reason 7/10 I’ll support you tho

Lead - 2/10 that’s gonna be a no from me dawg pretty sure I still have lead in my hands from stabbing myself with my mechanical pencils

Bismuth - 6/10 sounds good in mouth and reminds me of biscuits for some reason, I’ll take it

Polonium - to thine own self be true so stop trying to act like the arts don’t influence science jk pretty sure this is named for Poland but hey that’s where we get the Witcher so you get a pass 6/10

Astatine - 1/10 I don’t even know what you are

Radon - 7/10 this motherfucker knows his shit and how to party, rad is right

Francium - I bring you francium...and I bring you myrdurdium... 7/10 for a good vine

Radium - killed the video star probably 9/10 I can get behind her

Actinium - as opposed to passtinium I prefer actinium in the voice of writing 8/10

Thorium - overrated Norse god 5/10 because lightning is still cool

Protactinum - sounds like some pretentious condom brand 4/10 wouldn’t do it with a dude who bought these

Uranium - I always thought she was a hot sailor scout 10/10

Neptunium - same for her I knew they weren’t cousins you couldn’t lie to me 4kids 10/10

Plutonium - sounds like a macguffin unfortunately 5/10

Americium - I read this with a pivotal letter missing and nearly died, 7/10 for the laugh

Curium - 10/10 gives me Curie vibes and also reminds me of curiosity which reminds me of—[old yellered before the association could set in]

Berkelium - what I shout when I want Burke (fam dog) to slaughter innocents and raze territories 2/10 world was not meant to know his commands

Californium - 1/10 California is cool with geography but probs could stand to chill with the ego sorry to my friends in Cali

Einsteinium - 6/10 it’s alright but we’re really running out of ideas huh

Fermium - 3/10 this one is porny

Mendelevium - 1/10 my brain didn’t like parsing this and I stand by my earlier statement of running out of good names

Nobelium - 0/10 you didn’t name any noble gases this cowards this gas can’t be a noble oh wait it’s NOBEL I take it back 5/10 seems an alright chap

Lawrencium - fear the old blood my sorry dead hunter’s ass I’ll never get back my life from the hours I spent trying to beat this lava shitting bastard 2/10 for being a boss who eats Taco Bell specifically before being challenged to have fresh lava shit with which to punish you for having the audacity to exist in his space

Rutherfordium - my god what a snob 4.2/10 I respect him a little but only because he sounds like a right lad

Dubnium - DROP THE BASS 10/10

Seoborgium - not sure about this one but it can have a 7/10

Bohrium - as an American English speaker this sound combination makes my pathetic throat become a black hole as I try to properly create the sound of it 10/10 I love when my body becomes a massive void in the universe

Hassium - lazy 2/10

Elements 109-118 can go fuck themselves I hate them all, collective 6.66/10 for their general demonic vibe

[lizacstuff]

Merhaba friends - SCK episode 35 asks

(Fragman 36 ask at the end)

Apologies to those of you who sent asks for last week’s episode and I didn’t answer them. The week got away from me and then suddenly it was show day, the episode aired, and the asks were no longer relevant. Even if I didn’t answer I appreciate you reaching out!

Anonymous said: I’m dying to know what you thought.

While my ego would like to think that there are a variety of subjects that people might seek out my thoughts on, I’m going to guess you want to know what I thought of episode 35. 

I had a mixed reaction. I liked a lot of things, loved a lot of things, there were some things I found disappointing, and a few characters I wanted to strangle. So let’s explore from that perspective. 

Liked:

Romcom feel was back. It felt lighter and was easier to watch than a lot of eps in this arc.

Aydan, Ayfer and Seyfi working together to unite the kids. They were actually funny and trying to do the right thing, even if their methods were a bit morally gray. 

Serkan and Eda’s photo on outdoor advertising and on the cover of magazines. We’ll ignore how quick the turnaround was to get those photos up, it was just plain fun to watch Serkan see himself on his drive into work and be embarrassed and aggravated by the whole thing, while there was also a little spark of excitement from him in being linked to Eda like that. That was enjoyable.

Melo is always the best bestie and Ayfer didn’t suck as an aunt!

LOVED:

Most every individual Edser scene. 

Serkan out-of-his head with worry, planning to jump into the frigid sea, even though he wouldn’t have any shot of saving her that way. That’s my ride-or-die, protective romantic robot! 

Serkan making faces as Eda plans her wedding. Excellent work from Kerem here. 

Eda buttoning up Serkan’s shirt. That was hot. It was also hot that he just let her. 

Sekan buttoning up Eda’s dress (get a room kids and start going the other way... unbuttoning, UNBUTTON) This scene was emotional and the sexual tension! 

Serkan clutching his chest. The poor boy was about to have a panic attack right there. Follow through, writers, give him the full fledged panic attack!  

The hair caught in the button (There’s that button again!) sequence. it was funny and sexy and made Selin into a foolish, immature third wheel. I’m all for it. 

Serkan apologizing to Eda for Selin, that was big because up til now he hasn’t really recognized how awful Selin is in most situations. He has blinders when it comes to her, mostly because he doesn’t pay attention, so it was satisfying to see him acknowledge her bad behavior.

EVERY MOMENT AT THE BOLAT HOUSE. That was a great sequence, and IMO we mostly have Hande and Kerem to thank for it and not the writers. They brought it to life and obviously a lot of it was on them to just figure out what to do in the scene.  I loved that Serkan saw Eda amongst the flowers in that painting. Swoon!  their conversation about how they were both hungry was hilarious. Every moment with them fixing the sandwiches was gold and then it just got better from there. With him being willing to share food, to the throwback “mesala” conversation to her listening to his heart. All so... so... good. 

However, while we definitely deserved those nice, long, funny, heartwarming scenes, I must say the writers didn’t use them to their fullest potential. How did the night end? How did they part? Why was no progress made after spending the night that way?  If the writers were even half decent at their job they would have had Serkan confess some feelings while high, but not remember in the morning thus giving us the parallel with episode 11 when he was sick. Eda would have felt defeated when he didn’t remember, again, and it would have made more sense why she thought the fake wedding was her last shot at getting through to him. 

Characters I’m mad at:

Ceren knows the whole episode that Deniz loves Eda, she knows he’s being weird about it, she makes up with Eda, and stills says nothing? WTF?

Engin makes it to the wedding, he knows Serkan has his memories back and he doesn’t stop the wedding to let Eda know before she says yes? WTF?

Ferit allegedly has the photos and he thinks the wedding is real, but he doesn’t show Eda the photos so she has a better idea of what she’s getting into? WTF?      (though through that whole Ferit/Selin scene I wondered if Ferit was just playing along with Selin, trying to get info out of her and he’s not really the one who has the photos. Time will tell. )

Selin/Deniz- Obvious, psychos, I need them freaking gone. How Deniz can claim to love Eda, but sit there and watch her look devastated and cry her eyes out at the thought of fake marrying him, while knowing he’s about to pull a disgusting trick is unfathomable. He needs to be committed.

Disappointing:

To be clear, I no longer care, but I can’t believe how badly they flubbed this storyline. That? That was the payoff for the hell we’ve been put through for 7 weeks? Wow talk about not worth it and anti-climactic. I’m not going to go on about all the ways they failed, but I could. 

While I fully believe that Serkan fell back in love with Eda before he got his memories back (see this post) he should have confessed to Eda before he got them back. That was the whole point of this entire storyline and they carried that the entire time, but then fumbled the ball at the 1 yard line. Good grief, these writers are bad. 

Serkan gets his memories back, he knows time is of the essence, and he still is torn and has to think about it? WHAT? Just no. Ridiculous. I realize they did it for maximum suspense, but they shouldn’t have. They really shouldn’t have.

That was their reunion after all we’ve been through? Come on, writers, step it up. I realize we no longer have the writers that gave us his love declaration in 11 or Eda’s and Serkan’s proposals, or their make up scene in 28 or their goodbye scene in 28, but this was lackluster. 

So, in summation, there was a lot that I really enjoyed, I thought the episode flowed better than some of the others in this arc, and lots of great individual Edser moments, it’s just the way they flubbed the whole storyline. I’m just so glad the amnesia is over, that thankfully I don't really care.

Anonymous said: when pushed by engin and aydan multiple times in the episode he never denies he ISN'T in love with her and rather skirts around the issue and deflects with "she's marrying deniz!" which should be proof enough he fell in love with her especially considering in 29 he was telling eda that "there was no such thing as love" between them. it was almost reminiscent of eda in 10/11 where she doesn't tell him her feelings bc she believes he wants selin, this time in reverse bc he believes she's moved on.

This came in response to this ask, and yes I agree. I should have hit that point harder, that Engin and Aydan ask him and he never denies it. When this arc started he would have denied it in a flat second. 

He fell in love with her again, full stop. It’s just a shame that they didn’t make it the entire crux of his love confession, we deserved to see that. Just one of the many ways the writers dropped the ball with this storyline. 

Anonymous said: The whiplash we got going from 26-28 to the drag of 29-35 though. 🤦🏼‍♀️ and you really could cut out that entire storyline and you wouldn’t be missing anything because really nothing happened. They didn’t even have Serkan stopping Eda before he got his memories back to fulfill a basic assumed foreshadowing. Like....huh?

I don’t want to be negative, but it’s crazy to me that they sped through wedding prep at a lightning pace and then went through this painful amnesia storyline at a snail’s pace. They should have had at least 5 episodes of wedding prep, doing just one pre-wedding activity per episode, but kept Babaanne around to create the drama. I wanted at least one episode of them back together, but keeping it secret so they could work against her. We were robbed of that!

Anonymous said: I know we’ve been hating a lot on the new writers but the showrunner still has to sign off on these scenes right? And it’s been the same one this whole time. What has she been thinking? Maybe the writers didn’t do their homework but surely she can tell that scenes being very out of character wouldn’t make sense?

Bold of you to assume there’s a showrunner as we know them on a Hollywood show. I assume you’re talking about Asena, but I always think of her more of a cross between an EP and a network exec. A bit more removed than a showrunner.  I have no idea who the guiding light of this show is since Ayse left. The production timelines are so tight, I don’t think there’s time to review scripts and reject them. Sometime I think it’s a wonder anything makes sense at all. 

Anonymous said: I see you've giffed some of the edser "questionable positions" bookshelf scene. (Awesome gifs btw). Honestly, that entire scene was really funny, with the rest of the art life crew jumping in. Even Selin made me laugh when she came in there and said "how did her hair get stuck?!" and Serkan very sarcastically replied with something like "I wound it up in there, what do you think??" Not to mention all the very close face talking that was going on!

Great scene! Here’s the gif set you’re referring to.  I suppose the writers proved they could do fun, and romantically comedic scenes if they want to. More like this, please. 

Anonymous said:

With these past 5 (?) episodes with these last set of writers, I truly believe that they did not go back to watch SCK at all before writing. Any past references were probably given to them on a checklist or something. Like I don't know if they even watched episode 28 with how they ended up doing away with the memory loss. Its kind of astounding how much they dropped the ball. Hopefully the rumors of new writers are true and they get enough episodes to give us a good ending to this story!

This came in right after the episode, but unfortunately, we learned today that we are apparently not getting new writers, at least not for episode 36.I was fully convinced we were since Sefkat (the production company twitter admin) liked Yasin’s post when he said we’d be getting all new writers for 36. Normally I don’t believe anything Yasin says because he has lied so many times that any info he actually has just comes across as a clock being right twice a day.  However, when she liked it, I found that convincing.  Also the way they cancelled shooting on Saturday and H/K were in for a meeting on Friday. Seemed like it was all adding up. We’ll see, maybe there will be new ones for 37??

As for not watching what came before, it certainly feels like they only skimmed and watched certain scenes and didn’t do a deep dive on the series. Watching all the eps in full should be a requirement before they start the job. I always feel they are  just off with Serkan’s characterization, they don’t quite get him and they turn him a bit into a cardboard cutout of early Serkan. It’s like the character sketch outline of Serkan, but with no depth. 

Anonymous said: When I saw the character description of the new cast member added to the show I was like "great, another possible screen space filler in regards to Aydan" but after watching the episode, I was actually really intrigued by his character. I know there's a bunch of theories out there that Serkan is actually his son, which I don't really buy into right now, but nevertheless he was a real potential to be a father figure in Serkan's life... and maybe the only guest character to not be a villain lol.

I’ll tell you this, that casting makes it seem like they at least want us to think he’s Serkan’s father.  He’s way better looking that Alptekin and he just looks like he could genetically be responsible for the magnificence that is Serkan. 

We’ll see what they do. I think it could be interesting, just because until Serkan met Eda he was so invested in being “Serkan Bolat” that having his identity shaken like this would be seismic for him. It could create some really good drama for him in all his relationships without tearing apart Edser. Also, if Alptekin knew it would go along way in explaining that relationship. Alptekin always demanding perfection and the cold way he sent him away to boarding school. It would explain why he could never earn his father’s love or approval, and that knowledge might give him some peace. 

In addition, and a big plus, it would mean that his biological father was NOT responsible for the deaths of Eda’s parents. 

Anonymous said: 1/ everyone for weeks was waxing poetic and had super detailed headcannons of how serkan would remember in really specific ways when he realized he was in love, something that ayfer kinda poked fun of at the beginning of the ep talking about the fake wedding, but i was genuinely laughing out loud at serkan and engin accidently getting into a fight and him yelling throughout it that he remembers and engin pushing him in front going "can you give him one good hit?!" lmaoo

2/ getting a good hit to the end to unscramble your brain that is already giving you flashbacks is more actually more realistic than the usual fairytale way.. sure, less romantic, but definitely more realistic. the man was already in love with her, super confused on what to do since he genuinely thought she was marrying deniz, and was already having flashes, all he really needed was good hit in the head lol. maybe eda should've kept going when they were boxing 😂

I like your take on it.

Anonymous said: i think they saw the fandom complaining week after week that there was too much heaviness/drama in their romcom and said "so you guys want romcom? here i'll give you full on romcom" which is what i thought this episode was! and i really appreciated such a fun ep overall to watch to bring this otherwise really sad and emotion heavy memory loss plot to an end.

Yes, the episode was a lot more fun than most that had come before it. If only they could have tied it all together. 

Anonymous said: Something that just occurred to me that's so crazy in addition to wrapping an episode days before it airs, is that in Turkish television, a series has like 1 permanent director and a small writing team that writes ALL of the episodes. In US TV, that's pretty much unheard of - different writers rotate owning each episode and the same director will shoot maybe 2-3 episodes at most a season. The production turnaround time is so short that it's insane that we don't hear of more last-minute delays

I know, I think about this all the time. It’s crazy to me that there’s only one director. Which is why there’s not a lot of added layers to this show.  When a director just has one episode on their plate and they spend a couple of weeks prepping to direct, every shot, every angle, every bit of set dressing can be meaningful. This show doesn’t have that kind of visual depth.  On the other hand you do get a director that knows the actors and crew inside and out and they all have a short hand which allows them to get to what they want faster and easier. That can’t be replicated with directors who come in for one episode. 

Anonymous said: Over the past month or so, I’ve been seeing so many people cancel Serkan and wanting Eda to leave him forever and move away, but she really never gave up on him and she might finally get him back this week 😭 in fact, Eda and Melo are the only people we’ve seen who have tried to help get his memories back! Everyone who has been friendly to Selin can disinvite themselves to the Edser wedding

I’m glad I didn’t see a bunch of this nonsense myself.  But, honestly, anyone who wants Eda to leave and not end up with Serkan... why are they watching this show to begin with? Did they take a wrong turn somewhere? How did they last this long watching it? We’re 35 episode in and this entire show is their love story, beyond that story and it being a vehicle to showcase Hande and Kerem’s awesome chemistry, it really doesn’t offer many other reasons to watch. 

And yes to jettisoning anyone who was friendly with Selin. PIRIL I’M LOOKING AT YOU. I sure hope Piril finds out exactly how low Selin will sink. She needs to feel ashamed for welcoming her back without question. 

Anonymous said: That fragman for ep 36...part of me wants to hope that it will all be solved pretty soon, since we got edser separated for so long we deserved them together now. But part of me also knows these writers suck so I’m expecting the worst. I just wanted edser together again 😭

I know. When I saw the full fragman my initial reaction was to yell “WHY CAN’T WE HAVE NICE THINGS!!!!!!!”  But I’ve calmed down now. 

It seems to me that we have Serkan and Eda together and working together to figure this mess out, which is good. we have romantic walks on the pier, and Eda spending the night at his place and a sweet breakfast setting with Eda in jammies. All good.  

But then we also have Selin and Deniz refusing to quit.  Selin comes up with the plan that if Deniz doesn’t sign the papers in time, then they will have to get a divorce which means Eda can’t marry for 300 days. So then, what? Deniz steals Serkan’s car and goes on the run? 

What they hope to accomplish with this, I don’t know. Because even if they succeed and Serkan and Eda can’t get married right away, it’s not like they’ll just magically decide that they want to be with those two psychos instead.  I can see Selin doing it just for revenge so she can make them miserable, but what’s Deniz’ motivation? The further psycho he goes, the worse Eda will think of him. Bizarre. 

As for the pregnancy thing. It sounds like Eda must hear that from someone. My money is on Deniz. That’s his Hail Mary to try and drive a wedge between Serkan and Eda. Because seemingly when Eda brings it up, Selin asks where did you hear that. Also, phew, Eda says right away that if its true that Sekan deserves to know, which hopefully will clear things up (because the writers showed us over and over and over again that they weren’t sleeping in the same bed) and it will show Serkan just what kind of crazy he’s dealing with. 

Anonymous said: I was pretty excited after watching the fragman, but surprised when I went on twitter and saw that almost everyone was really upset by it. I’m sure most people know Selin isn’t actually pregnant, but they all still somehow hate the storyline (possibly bc they think it’ll drive edser apart?) idk am I crazy for thinking that we’ll still get good edser moments and them staying together and fighting together? I guess the show needs drama to continue but I’m not mad because I think good edser will outweigh bad/miscommunication edser.

I’m sure we’ll get good Edser moments, but I can’t really fault anyone for being extremely annoyed by this fragman. I think this little plot point will end up not being a big deal at all, however, I can see how it feels like a kick in the face after what we’ve been through the last 7 episodes. It’s like can we get one happy episode? Just one?

Also it’s just very uncomfortable. I’m in the camp that currently thinks it’s impossible for her to be pregnant because they haven’t slept together. He was too fragile and injured before they came back to Istanbul (sleeping on the couch with his PTSD) and after he was too confused and consumed by Eda and just uninterested in Selin. I have to believe they kept showing us them not spending the night in the same place for a reason. 

However, if they were to have had sex, it’s very unsettling because it’s a little too close to him not being able to give consent. It’s Rape by Deception. He had a brain injury, amnesia, was suffering a myriad of traumas and was not in his right mind. He did not have the full set of facts on where their relationship stood, but she did (she knew he wanted nothing to do with her and told her he never loved her and didn’t even want to be friends) and instead of being honest she abused him. She lied to him. She didn’t tell him the truth about what had happened. She isolated him from anyone who could tell him the truth and manipulated him into thinking that she was the only person in the world he could trust and the person he loved and trusted most was untrustworthy and an enemy. 

However, as the audience we know the things she’d done in the past to abuse his trust, and we know for certain if he remembered, he would never consent to sleep with her. Never. So even beyond the cheating and the romance it would rob us of if they did have sex, it’s ICKY and GROSS and none of us want to even think of it.  I don’t expect TV writers in Turkey to be on the forefront of thought when it comes to issues of consent, so I’d rather this door just not be opened at all. 

But here we are, they opened it. Now all we can do it hope that it is a device to hear Serkan say that it isn’t impossible and for Selin to be fully exposed as completely unbalanced and a lying, manipulator.

Anonymous said: the fandom by use of sheer will forced this selin plot line into existence LOL. i swear since the beginning of the memory plot in 29, the "selin will lie to eda she's pregnant" rumor has been constantly making rounds, and i guess it's time to cash in. i will say that i've seen ppl thinking know that somehow serkan and her were intimate even though she's clearly lying.. guys, if there was even a POSSIBILITY she would've used this way back before now and would have told everyone, including serkan.

I agree with this. If this was a card she could play with Serkan, she’d play it. She’s been getting more and more desperate. And in the fragman there she is coming up with ways for Deniz to run away so he can’t sign the papers. If there was something she could hold over Serkan, she would, She’s not because then the con would be up, we’ll just have to wait and see how big of a lie she’s willing to tell. 

Anonymous said: I wonder if Selin was a spy when she was younger! That woman is always watching everything from her car! Even in the new trailer.

Ha! Let’s hope that in the end she’s not a very good spy and they finally get one over on her. Oh please oh please oh please let the stable boy be the one who has the photos and let him have more on her. I want there to be tons of photos of her in her car spying on them. That would be so humiliating for her. 

Seriously, though, who knows what happened to Selin to make her the way she is. Frankly, I don’t think my assessment of her has really changed (most of my old posts on her are tagged with “anti Selin”) She’s just a spoiled, selfish, entitled brat who thinks she should get anything and everything she wants. If she wants Serkan, she should have him, doesn’t matter what he wants or who she hurts, she’ll do whatever she has to do to make that happen. She was probably never told no as a child. So when she’s thwarted she thinks she’s entitled to whatever reaction she wants to have, if that’s ruining other people’s lives, so be it.  No one can be happy if she’s not. 

[survey--s]

59.

survey by xkatyxconspiracy

Are you embarrassed/ashamed to burp/fart in front of your friends?   Not embarrassed, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to do it, either. 

When you make a typo, do you leave it, or go back and fix it?   I go back and fix it. Why would you not? lol.

Ever suffer from amnesia?   No. My memory is pretty much the exact opposite of that, lol.

What instrument do you prefer to play when playing Rockband/Guitar Hero WT?   I only ever played the guitar - we never had any of the other equipment to play the other instruments.

Have you ever picked out a song to listen to on a juke box?   Yeah, I used to love doing that when I was younger.

While riding roller coasters, do you close your eyes?   For some parts of them, yeah.

Have you learned anything important today?   No, not really. Today has just been fairly normal, all things considered. I slept in, had a shower, had breakfast, did a bunch of housework and now I’m doing this and watching TV with all the animals around me lol.

What's a talent that you wish you possessed?   I wish I could sing in tune.

Do you ever find yourself singing showtunes while in the shower?   Hahah, yep.

Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in one day?   Yeah, that’s definitely happened on days where I’ve been travelling non-stop, or on days where we’ve just been out all day. It’s not so common now but it does still happen at times.

When's the last time you were genuinely freaked out?   I honestly don’t remember.

Does anyone in your house own a gun?   No. Guns are illegal in this country, thank God.

Do you assign different ringtones to certain people?   No, that’s just far too much hassle when nobody ever rings me, haha.

Favorite way to eat a potato? (i.e. french fries, mashed potatoes...)   Fries or roasties, or hash browns.

Have you ever lived outside of the country that you currently reside in?   Yeah, I lived abroad in France for a year as a student.

Have you ever ridden in a limo?   Yes.

Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?   Yes, on a flight to Australia when we got caught in some really horrendous turbulence. Rationally I knew it was okay but being hurled around in your seat when you’re 15,000ft in the air while lightning flashes all around you isn’t the most pleasant experience in the world, lol.

What's the one thing you couldn't afford to leave behind on a vacation?   Well, anything.

If a brick suddenly showed up in front of you, what would you do with it?   Touch it?

Are there any song covers that you think are better than the original?   I’m sure there are some out there, yeah. I tend to prefer the version I’ve heard first, whichever that happens to me.

Does Christmas music played too far away from Christmas annoy you?   Yeah, it makes it less special IMO.

Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender?   I mean, it would be pretty cool, sure.

Last thing you worried about? Toby being unwell, but luckily he seems absolutely fine now.

Are there in portraits/figurines in your house that you find creepy?   No.

Sprite, 7up, Sierra Mist, or Mountain Dew?   Uh, 7Up but I’ve never tried Sierra Mist before.

When was the last time you felt you were about to pass out from exhaustion?   The week before I finished for Christmas - I was just so insanely busy it was absolutely ridiculous.

Other than no school, what's your favorite thing about summer?   I work right through summer, but I love the weather and the feeling of freedom.

- Least favorite?   The humidity and how hot and sticky you get just doing nothing.

If you could change your age, how old would you make yourself?   I’m actually quite happy with my current age.

How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?   About four or five.

Have you ever cried in a movie theater?   Yeah, at the Deathly Hallows part 2 - several times, lol. Oh, and also when Cedric Diggory died.

When's the last time you went out of state?   I honestly don’t remember - well before COVID.

Do you like hot sauce? If yes, what do you usually put it on? No - spicy foods make me vomit, unfortunately.

Have you ever had 'a day at the spa'?   No, but the older I get, the more appealing that sounds.

Do you still have a VCR somewhere?   No, we never had one to begin with, though.

You see someone running around naked in the street. Your reaction?   I have no idea, it depends on a few other things too.

Are the files in your computer well organized or all over the place?   Well-organised.

Is there wall paper on your bedroom walls?   Nope, all the walls are painted.

Does yard work bore you, or do you enjoy it?   It bores me and makes my back hurt at the same time, so I don’t do it.

Do you own a sleeping bag?   No, I don’t think so. 

Have you ever tried to put a huge puzzle together?   1000 pieces is the biggest I’ve ever done, but I’ve not done a jigsaw for years.

What do you put on your hamburger?   Bacon, mushrooms and blue cheese.

When was the last time you met someone new?   Hmm, last week when I met Helen for the first time! She was lovely and we’re planing to meet up again when she’s next up here visiting her mum.

Whats the furthest distance you’ve gone in the past 3 days?   I haven’t left the house in the past three days, hahah.

Are there dogs barking in your neighborhood right now?   No, not that I can hear.

[scullydubois]

Only the Light (ch. 3)

Description: Missy moves in with Scully post-One Breath/Scully’s abduction. In this chapter, Scully goes through her morning routine and gets a surprise...

part 1 here. part 2 here. tagging @today-in-fic​.

“Only the Light” won the poll, so it’s now the official title! Yay! Thank you for voting and thanks for all the feedback--I love your comments. This part is the longest yet (and the best imo)--enjoy!! 

-----------------------------------------

She floats outstretched through the sky as if it were the community pool she and Missy used to frequent as children. She tilts her face toward the sun, feels the warmth of it washing over her. Her eyes reflect the brilliant blue sky, mini-oceans in themselves. Her back is to the city, and she’s so high up she can’t hear one bit of the noise on the ground. She hopes this is what heaven is like. If this is heaven, she has nothing to fear. 

And then she’s falling, a casualty of gravity. Hell has found her. It always does. This is an unfortunate truth she must live with. The sky races past her and there’s a pit in her stomach so deep she thinks she must be breaking the laws of physics, her body stretching like a rubber band about to snap. Surely she is not a human being anymore. Surely she won’t be by the end of this.

The ground hurdles toward her. She can’t see it, but she knows. She wonders what shape they will find her in, or if she will even be found. She hopes for her family’s sake that she’s in so many pieces they can’t put her back together. It’s easier, she thinks, when the body doesn’t look human. Burying a radiant-looking thirty year old is sad. Burying a mangled mess of a corpse is a relief. 

As if on cue, her alarm chirps. She awakes in one piece and punches the alarm, reality whisking away the horror of her dreams. Sweat saturates her silk pajamas, leaving a morning dew of sorts on her sheets. The blankets were thrown off at some point during the night. She does not remember doing this, so she can only assume it was the work of the demonic force in her brain.

Waking up in a puddle of her own sweat has become commonplace since she was returned. The first time the heat was so stifling she thought she must have had a fever that broke, but the mercury thermometer in her bathroom said otherwise. Her body seems to have a mind of itself these days. 

For the time being, her mind is still functioning, so she pulls herself out of bed to get ready for work. This routine part of her day is a privilege she relishes. Very rarely does she get to function on autopilot.

It goes like this: first, she slips off her pajamas and changes her underwear. It is at this point without fail that she realizes she hasn’t bought a new pantyset in years, and wouldn’t it be nice if she did? This mental note slips away by the time she buttons her suit jacket and tucks her undershirt into her slacks.

Next, she switches on the bathroom light and performs the typical tasks of self-care--brushing her teeth, washing her face, and whatnot-- that some might find tedious or annoying. For Scully, they are soothing. She spends too much time thinking about aliens and not enough thinking about herself. She’s not sure she believes in either, but god, it would be nice to try. 

Veering close to the latest possible time at which she could still expect to beat DC traffic to the office, she brushes her hair (no time for a hundred strokes), dabs some concealer under her eyes, and swipes on her favorite lipstick. No need to go all out; she knows where she stands.

Finally, she opens her closet and stares at the rack of heels. They’re uncomfortable and damn inconvenient for an FBI agent, but Mulder’s tall and she is not. She had a fraction of her current pairs before she met Mulder. No coincidence. 

She chooses the tallest pair she owns because she needs the confidence boost. They’re headed to a nursing home in Massachusetts today, so hopefully there will be no running in the woods involved. 

She click-click-clicks down the hallway. The scent of strong coffee permeates the air. She turns the corner, and there’s her sister with a pot of coffee and two plates of scrambled eggs. It is seven o’clock in the morning, and they were up at 3am last night. The last thing Scully expects is for her sister to be cognizant, let alone to have cooked. 

“Good morning sunshine.” Missy slides a plate over to Scully’s usual spot at the table and pours the piping hot coffee into a ‘Kiss Me, I’m A Doctor’ mug. 

Scully pinches herself. No, she’s not dreaming. This is too happy to be one of her dreams anyways.

“This is a surprise,” she says as she takes a seat at the table.

“Well, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 5:30. I figured it’s been awhile since someone’s cooked you breakfast.”

Scully takes a sip of the coffee. 

“I don’t even cook myself breakfast.”

“Exactly.”

Melissa tops off Scully’s mug. 

“Is it strong enough? I couldn’t drink mine without adding about a half a cup of milk, so I figured I must be doing something right.”

Scully is so grateful to be waited on that it could be a milkshake and she wouldn’t complain. It is strong enough though, stronger than the milk and sugar mixture someone calls coffee at the FBI. 

“It’s perfect,” she says, meaning it.

“Good. I saw the end of that movie, by the way. You were right, it’s a real snoozefest.”

Scully laughs. “I actually like that movie. That’s why it helps me fall asleep.”

Missy scoffs. “They spend the entire movie pining over each other just for one chaste kiss at the end! Where’s the fun in that?”

“Probably shortly after that chaste kiss.”

Missy smirks, pleased that she’s gotten her sister to make a sex joke at seven o’clock in the morning. She softens her voice-- 

“I did want to talk to you, though.”

Scully finishes chewing the forkful of scrambled eggs in her mouth. 

“I have to leave soon or I’ll be late.”

“Late for what? One of Mulder’s slideshows?”

Scully sits back. Maybe Missy has a point.

“I’m sure you’re tired of my questioning,” Missy says, “so I won’t ask you another thing. Say what you need to say.”

Say what you need to say. So simple, yet so powerful. It occurs to Scully that no one ever gives her this type of shameless permission. They shouldn’t have to, but she’s never been one to talk out of turn. What a relief to have the freedom to speak plainly. 

She exhales. She has spent the past weeks playing back the few memories she has of her disappearance--she won’t call it the other word--and trying to decipher what happened to her. She is no closer to figuring it out than she was when Mulder gave her necklace back, but it might help to share what she does remember.

She launches into it, her memories flowing out in one long stream.

“You know, when I was in the hospital, I kept having this vision that I was in a lifeboat. There was a rope tying it to the dock and on the dock were all the people I loved, the people that were around me. You and mom and Mulder and the nurses.”

Melissa listens sympathetically, shocked and relieved that her sister is opening up.

“But I couldn’t move, I couldn’t do anything but sit there in that boat and hope that somehow, the tether wouldn’t snap.”

This is the most vulnerable Missy can remember seeing her sister since the passing of their father. There are a respected few who have witnessed Dana Scully reveal the inner workings of her mind. It’s a rare honor to witness Dana Scully reveal the inner workings of her heart. 

Scully continues.

“And then it did snap, and I had...I can only describe it as a near-death experience. Dad was there...He was in his uniform with all his medals and he told me that he loved me and—that we would be together again, but not yet.”

Missy nods along.

“So I guess...that kept me from going. That’s how I knew I had to stay.”

“Wow,” Missy breathes.

“From then on, I could hear everything you guys were saying. I heard you and mom telling me that I was below the criteria of my living will and I was trying to give you a sign…”

Her voice breaks. 

“I was so scared you would pull the plug on me.”

“Oh my god, Dana.” Missy engulfs her in a hug. “I am so sorry.”

Scully breathes into her sister’s neck. Her hair smells like the strawberry shampoo they used when they were children. She wonders if Missy still uses it, decides that now is not the time to bring that up. Instead, she lets go of the hug first.

“I started thinking, if I am below the criteria of my living will, maybe that’s the right thing to do. Maybe if I ever truly wake up, I’ll be so damaged I won’t be able to work for the FBI or have anything resembling a happy life.”

She sighs. “And you and mom said your goodbyes, and I was thankful, actually, that I got to hear them because so many people don’t and you just...never know with my profession.”

She bites her lip to keep from crying.

“And then sometime later I heard Mulder come in, and his wasn’t a goodbye. He touched my hand—I could feel it but I couldn’t respond—and he told me he was there. And I could feel his sadness, but I could also feel his hope. And that was all I needed, was hope.”

“He gave you the strength to wake up,” Missy says, partly as a question. 

“Or the courage to.”

Melissa considers this. She remembers how solemn she felt going to Fox’s apartment that night, delivering the news that her sister was weakening. This must be how nurses feel when they tell loved ones to say their goodbyes, she thought at the time. When he said he wasn’t able to go see Dana in the hospital, she was furious. How can you be so naive? she thought. Are you so afraid of pain you refuse to feel your own feelings? She realizes now this sounds like something she might say to her sister. 

Melissa decides not to mention her involvement in any of this. After all, she hadn’t succeeded in convincing Fox to go to the hospital. That was his own choice. Instead, she says--

“He was really looking out for you, you know. He was a soldier for your cause.”

The edges of Scully’s lips turn up the slightest bit.

“I don’t doubt it. Mulder is nothing if not a good soldier.”

Melissa thinks back on meeting Fox. She said that Dana had talked to her, that her soul was there. He didn’t believe her.

“Fox was exactly what you said he would be,” she tells her sister, “and somehow I was still surprised by the sheer force of his determination.”

Scully chuckles. 

“Well, I don’t exaggerate these things. If anything, I downplay them.”

“No kidding.”

Melissa wets her lips, letting silence rest comfortably at the table with them.

“You’re really lucky you know, to have him as a partner.”

Scully nods. 

“I know.”

And she does.

[malepresentingleg]

is it 2013 again? cause i have a rant about teen wolf coming and i feel 16 y/o.

so due to dome heavy procrastination I've consumed a lot of teen wolf content, i skipped a bunch of episodes and a lot of scenes in the ones i haven't but i still have some Thoughts TM

it's good??? i had a Good Time watching, it was funny but intense and dark and i felt Feelings watching, some of the plotlines were meh (or maybe i just skipped them heh) but a lot were interesting and i loved the characters and their interaction

scott. my sweetheart. my baby. such a cutiepie, such a great protagonist 10/10 i love him and would die for him. he's so pure and cute and his little smile melts my heart. i love how he's fundamentally Human no matter how non human he is. he's a great character all around and i kinda wish they didn't do that shit to him at the end (imma get there) or treated him like he ISN'T the protagonist for such big parts of the shows

people KNOW. Stiles knows from day one, allison finds out soon, his mom finds out in season 2! the sheriff in 3, and they just become part of the gang and can help them with stuff bc they UNDERSTAND. shows like that get really tiring when the teens constantly lie to everyone around them and it was very refreshing. the running gag with the coach ruining things tho was funny and I'm ok with it.

Ok this is mellisa appreciation time. she's SUCH a great, complex and unusual mom-of-hero character. i absolutely love her and her attitude, i love how she's not simply being used as a tool to cause scott pain (just.. sometimes) and their relationship is parenting goals.

also isn't it fucking hilarious how she's a nurse but she just knows everything medical. she's also a surgeon and a mortician and a doctor. ik it's for plot reasons but it funny af.

in general women on the show.. had a lot of potential, i love them, but i hate how they were treated.

allison was all around great imo, her and scott's relationship was built very well and was two sided from the start (unlike... yeah), she has emotions, she's smart and brave, but also human and scared, she kicks ass and, again, exists outside of Scott's GF status (mostly). andddd they killed her. idk if the actress had to/wanted to leave or it was a pure writers decision bc they needed to keep just her father or something, but that would have been ok if not for all the other things

we have 3 main kickass ladies with powers- lydia, kira and malia. lydia spent close to FIVE whole seasons not knowing anything about her abilities/not knowing how to control them. cmon, it gets old. scott masters his powers after a season or two (and had control a lot sooner), parrish finds out what he is like half a season after it becomes relevant etc.

malia- do i need to explain? she was CONSTANTLY struggling controlling her abilities, no matter how badass she supposedly was. and kira oh boy, they did her dirty, didn't they?

kira was such a cute adorable character. i loved her and her little crush on scott and wanting to make friends and being freaked out about relationships, i love her discovering her past and heritage and learning to fight and gaining control and becoming a badass. but. what? they just undid all this? oh no the fox is taking over she has no control no agency of her own she needs to disappear for years now bye :( again, idk if the actress needed to leave but it was so unsatisfying and was insulting to the character. she wasn't even mentioned later a bunch like allison was, just they needed her mom for a plot tool and didn't even acknowledge it was her sword they were breaking. uhm rude?

LET WOMEN HAVE POWERS AND BE AWESOME WITH THEM. and not just minor/bad characters thanks.

i love the concept of a pack on the show and how you don't have to be a werewolf to be a part of it, how scott becomes a true alpha and how he cares about his friends. i kinda feel like in later seasons him being an alpha was more talk than show which like /: meh. like i said, he stopped BEING the main character, just talked about as if he was.

i love how friendship is valued, but i think it could be more.. i mean the scene in the motel, all season 3b, scott and lydia, all the girls with each other.. i love it. too many times tho it "wasn't enough" and only romantic love worked which SUCKS. in 6a i was so happy scott went in to try and remember stiles and the memories hit me right in the heart. then when it "wasn't enough" i was SO pissed and frustrated goddammit. i guess that leads me to the next point-

ships, should i talk about ships? i don't want hate in my asks but oh well it's been a few years maybe there's no fandom to care. I'll start with the end

malia and scott. what. the. fuck. when, out of fucking no where, they had like a lingering look or something i was just "nope. no thanks". and then every scene they had together i had to cover my eyes bc it felt so wrong and bad and awkward. jesus. no build up at ALL, they're like family, i just. ew. no. it felt way too much like "oh we gotta pair off the leftovers" or "the main character can't end up single" well guess what, he fucking can. it was. god. i can't even explain the disgust. when he needed to heal and all she had to do was kiss him ugh. it felt so fake and empty of meaning. i would 100% prefer for it to be stiles (I'll get there) or his mom who snapped him out of it.

melissa and chris, i could get aboard with that. def cute, def weird af since his dead daughter was dating her son but, well.

stiles and lydia is a ship i have conflicting feelings about. i absolutely hate the concept of "the nerd" is in love with the popular girl since freshman year and he's borderline being a creep ("oh but it's stiles! he's a dork and he's harmless" no.), completely obsessed with her and she ignores him but then they end up getting together.. i mean, it sends a bad msg to obsessed boys about how it's worth it in the end, and it makes the whole relationship feel unbalanced from the start, makes her reciprocation feel unatural. BUT, i have to admit the show did kinda make me warm up to this ship by the end, curse them. it was kinda cute. i wish there was more mutualness before it became such an important part in 6a tho.

just gonna put it out there: malia/kira and lydia/allison. i wish we saw more girl on girl interactions in general but the ones we had were very good, great dynamics.

i won't get too much into it but i.. i don't ship st*rek. i understand why they're the biggest ship (two white hot boys that interact with each other, i mean.), and i see the couple of fan service-y moments the show throws at us but just. they don't have my heart, i don't really care about them. not the characters, the characters i absolutely love! (tho this watch i skipped most of season 1 and 2 and 3a and i think that's where derek is the most asshole.. didn't he do really bad things? idr) idk if you want a bad character on the way to redemption with someone you should ship liam and theo who had way better shippy chemistry imo, even tho their ship probably wouldn't be healthy given their dynamic history, huh.

the ship that does owns my heart? scilies. I'm a softy when it comes to best friends to lovers, and their bond and relationship is just. so. pure. don't get me wrong, i love me a good platonic relationship, but there was just one to many homoerotic interactions between them for me not to ship it, hard. (not to be that person but my guess is that if Scott was white it would have been a way bigger ship, but who knows?) i love their love, i love they would do anything for each other, and i feel like there were a bunch of very missed opportunities for them in later seasons :(

so representation. this feels like a show that is trying to be Woke TM but it's not going so well. the main character is supposedly latino but it's never ever addressed. idc about "oh we want a world without prejudice" you can still fucking address it. i mean they went to Mexico a couple of times, stiles keeps saying "Mexican cousin" i mean. god. give us something. did i mention scott was told he'd make a great "nazi youth" ..

and you don't need to be a genius to see the most characters are very white or at least very white passing. and when you don't address their non whiteness they might as well be..

i already mentioned how poorly i feel kira was treated, but also mason, who is a wonderful character, gets no depth? we know nothing about him other than being gay and smart pretty much.

i also spoke about the women already but, they were really really great women characters, but not enough of them, not enough that lasted.

there's not much to talk about disability bc it just wasn't on the show. the only blind character was healed which. /: same with epilepsy and asthma..

i think the show is probably very proud (ha) with their LGBTQ+ rep bc they're like "oh let's make this insignificant couple gay bc hey nbg". examples are lydia's grandma, La Bete and marcel, i think nolan and jiang were exes and then nolan and gabe were a thing? idr if it was explicit. the couple of girls in the tent.. probably a couple more. it's nice, def better than all random couples being straight but that's not satisfying as rep.

Danny was great. i think he and ethan were.. cute? i think he was awesome, i loved danny so much and was very excited to learn he KNOWS at the end of season 3 and was waiting to see him join the pack. instead he fucking disappeared?! wtf. #WhereDidDannyGo

brett was cute rep, especially being bi but i feel like it could go into the insignificant pool which, again, is better than nothing.

mason and corey i just don't have strong feelings about. they were definitely cute and I'm glad they were together, i love mason A Lot. i think this relationship could be explored more, or at least the characters could be explored more to give this relationship more depth.

very interesting how there's no wlw canon couple, not even hinted. just fan servicey hot malia kira dance which /:

not to mention transgenderness. god can you imagine the interesting plotline of transitioning while being a werewolf 0:

i think the rep i was most happy about was ethan and Jackson. even tho i don't think there was build up or clues in the first couple of seasons, I'm happy for the actor who i know was struggling with coming out publicly, and it was very fun and refreshing for the ending. even if we got very few scenes with them the dynamic was 10/10

the biggest problem is obviously stiles. i just don't understand why, if they're so supposedly progressive, they went to that length to queerbait without following through. the whole gag of wanting to be attractive to danny and to gay guys, the whole "aww danny want to have sex with me that's so nice", the whole "do you like guys too?". it's a gag. his alleged bisexuality is the butt of a joke, and it pisses me the fuck off. they don't have to make it a big deal or have him get a bf for it to be official. it wasn't subtle subtext. it was a CHOICE. to put a spotlight on his sexuality but not deliver. -100/10 would not recommend.

also they could talk about his mental health more.

and about Scott's, please and thank you.

and everyone's.

i had some more feelings, like villains changing sides without getting a proper redemption and having no consequences, the wholesomeness of the sherriff and mellisa being each other's kids second parent eichen house (wtf??), and more, but i think i wrote enough for now.

tl;dr- good show with A Lot of problems, will always have a place in my heart bc I'm a nostalgic gal.